Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

JustJess · 12-15-2005, 08:08 AM

You know, I had a much longer post in mind... but it comes down to something pretty simple for me.

Cheating is wrong, no question. There are some who simply can't be faithful, and that's unfortunate for their partners. Those types should be more honest about their needs, but often are not, and I believe that is the source of most people's extreme emotions on the subject - they've been the victims of a person who is dishonest about their nature/needs. That sucks, and is deserving of scorn and anger. The same in new relationships - if you can't even make it through a few months, why are you wasting the other person's time??

However, there are those who simply MADE A MISTAKE. We are only human. Sometimes we are in situations where we're frustrated, unhappy, confused, and very emotional... and sometimes people act out in ways that are negative. That doesn't mean the person is unsalvagable, but certainly that there are relationship issues to be worked out. It would be nice if everyone could discuss things before they evolved into issues like cheating, but frankly, that's just not reality.

I think it's important to realize that in relationships, there is so much more going on. The cheater may not be evil or heartless, but reacting poorly. If you made a mistake and hurt someone you loved, wouldn't you want the chance to change, and learn from your mistake?

Not to be taken the wrong way - I don't believe that cheating is a viable way to showcase problems in the relationship. But that sometimes, we just do stupid things. "Kicking them to the curb" isn't always the right way to fix things.

12-15-2005, 08:08 AM	#25 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	You know, I had a much longer post in mind... but it comes down to something pretty simple for me. Cheating is wrong, no question. There are some who simply can't be faithful, and that's unfortunate for their partners. Those types should be more honest about their needs, but often are not, and I believe that is the source of most people's extreme emotions on the subject - they've been the victims of a person who is dishonest about their nature/needs. That sucks, and is deserving of scorn and anger. The same in new relationships - if you can't even make it through a few months, why are you wasting the other person's time?? However, there are those who simply MADE A MISTAKE. We are only human. Sometimes we are in situations where we're frustrated, unhappy, confused, and very emotional... and sometimes people act out in ways that are negative. That doesn't mean the person is unsalvagable, but certainly that there are relationship issues to be worked out. It would be nice if everyone could discuss things before they evolved into issues like cheating, but frankly, that's just not reality. I think it's important to realize that in relationships, there is so much more going on. The cheater may not be evil or heartless, but reacting poorly. If you made a mistake and hurt someone you loved, wouldn't you want the chance to change, and learn from your mistake? Not to be taken the wrong way - I don't believe that cheating is a viable way to showcase problems in the relationship. But that sometimes, we just do stupid things. "Kicking them to the curb" isn't always the right way to fix things. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'. Last edited by JustJess; 12-15-2005 at 08:11 AM..