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Old 12-14-2005, 09:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
Mantus
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Whoa there! Being an introvert is not hardwired into your brain. It's more of a idiosyncrasy you developed in life. There are some geneological factors but they don't play as much of a role as you might think. They just re-enforce the condition.

Confidence, comunication, and knowing what to say or how to approach a hot girl, are all skills. They just seem hardwired. You get them though osmosis from people you grow up with. From the sound of it, you may not even be an introvert.

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When someone actually gets me to start talking, it's never about myself unless they force it out of me.
Keeping people talking about themselves is a skill. People love talking about themselves. You are in the good here. The important part is knowing what to say when the conversation does turn to you. You gota work on that. We can help.
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I'm talking about how Bush fucked up our country, or I'm talking about how they murdered Tookie, or I'm talking about the Los Angeles Clippers and how amazing they're doing this year.
Politics and murders are best kept to friends. These are uncomfortable topics for most people. They are very confrontational. Sports on the other hand! Can't go wrong. Still confrontational but in a fun way - unless you are both druink.
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I never talk about ME.
Talking about you is hard. One of the hardest topics. This is because it's impossible to relate. As an example look up at the sky tomorrow morning. See that color blue? Describe it to someone. They will never see what you see. The best you can do is find common ground.

It takes drugs or sex to get me talking about myself and even then it's a monologue, the other person can't possibly understand but they listen out of kindness, like a therapist. Which is cool.

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Then the shyness factor kicks in. I've pulled some BEAUTIFUL women, or so I thought. In fact, THEY pulled ME. I've never gone up to a woman and said, "Hey what's up! What's your name?" or anything that ANYONE normal would say to a person they're interested in.
I have known countless of very social people who didn't know how to approach others they were intrested in. I have known people who could have a conversation with anyone, at any time, in any place but when they see a hot girl they mind shuts down. It's not that you are an introvert, it's your insecurity and lack of experience. Wan't a quick fix? We call it Fire Walking. Go to a club and say "hi" to every girl you meet. 100 girls later you are still alive! Some brushed you off, some said "hi" back, some even talked to you. OMG!
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I dunno; maybe its a self-confidence issue. Thing is, I am a very confident person. But when I see a beautiful woman, she could smile at me and all I'll do is smile back.
It's cool, we all start here.
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"Wow. She's fucking beautiful. But I'm 21, still living at home, with no car, only making $8/hour, and I'm overweight. What would she want with a guy like me?
Welcome to America! This shit is expected of 21 year olds. Infact if you are not in this possition she will think you are some sort of a freak. Material things do not attract people. So you are cool.
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I must admit; I am an asshole to myself. It's pissing me off though, because I really feel like I can't help it.
Well there is the heart of the matter. You CAN help it. It just takes time. It's not some fuckin' epiphany you have one night and become a new man. You get there by listening to advice, reading books, taking risks and putting yourself out there. If I tell you to bench press 250lb right now would you be able to do it? Probably not. Is it because you are "hard-wired" that way? No. At this point and time you can't but if you worked out really hard you could probably do it in a couple of months. Get it? Cool.
Cheers

Last edited by Mantus; 12-14-2005 at 09:44 PM..
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