Why not just have the father bar the son from having bank access? Why does the son have access in the first place?
There is no acceptable reason short of the father not being capable of handling his own finances by way of Alzheimers that you can tell me that warrants the sons access.
This is not going to go away without unpleasant discussions and perhaps confrontations.
Your SO's father needs to acknowledge that a crime has been committed, confront his son about it with you and your SO there for support, and make sure the son understands that the next step after this is the law intervening. This sort of thing can rarely be taken care of "within" a family. Sadly, fear and guilt about whats happening keep people from doing to family what they would not hesitate to do to another. (IE, calling the police to report fraud and embezelment)
Your SO's father needs to have the ability to confront his son and cut off all access. He needs to contact the bank and place a watch on his account for any activity that he has not authorized.
The bank needs to be made aware of the situation and participate in stoping it. It is not in their best interest either. Especiallly if it could be shown that the bank was not enforcing security in preventing access by someone other than an authorized accessor.
He may need to have new bank account numbers issued and have new cards issued so that the old numbers are useless. This will enable the bank to catch the son in the act if the father has it done in one day without saying a word to the son abut the change.
This will be a blow up, but for the long term stability of a family, it is sometimes needed to cause short term emotional pain to bring the family closer.
The short term pain of being in trouble with the law may in time allow the son to develop a healthy relationship with Dad instead of a predatory one.
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