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pan6467 · 12-10-2005, 02:35 AM

TS,

No offense my friend but having read this it sounds you got some, messed up telling her about your driving incident... (may not have been what you did as much as how you made it sound....trust me I am king of foot in mouth).

I speak from personal experience.

It also sounds like, after reading this, you may have obsessed about her a bit, but not known much about her.... bad combination, been there done that and things I thought would get her "attention" so we could at least talk, backfired.

The away messages to you may have seemed harmless, but some people have been raised differently. She may sound judgemental, or she may have Asians in her family and took offense to what you thought was a harmless joke.

This one very lovely lady and I started dating and we talked about politics and issues, and we talked about prejudices. I told her that the only prejudice I had was against Filipino women, because when I was in the Navy, I saw guys marry them, bring them to the States and then when the men would go to sea the women were out cheating.....

Turns out her uncle was Navy and married to a Filipino woman and she was close to her. I came off as a real asshole to her. She didn't tell me that night but when she didn't call or answer my calls, a mutual friend told me to lay off her because of what I said. To me I was being honest to her, I showed prejudiced and hatred.

It also showed me how prejudice can destroy a relationship fast.

Anyway, let it go man. She obviously has an opinion of you now that seemingly you will never be able to change. It happens, trust me..... live and learn.

Women tend to pick up a lot more of what the man says, than we men pick up from what the women say (verbally or through body language), and we may not even realize we said or reacted a certain way because we just didn't think.

She may have let the Asian joke go, but then when you told her about being drunk, she thought you and her weren't a match. The away messages may have been the final draw or she thought you were meaning them toward her.

If you truly like this lady and wish to try to rectify everything, try writing her a letter from your heart explaining you have faults and you're young, but you really would like to get to know her and see her again.

One of three things will happen:

1) she'll ignore it r send a nasty letter back

2) she'll read it and send you a letter back explaining that she just doesn't think it will work

or

3) it'll break the ice and the two of you will start talking again.

There's also the great possibility she was horny, found you used you for her kicks and thrills and never wanted anything. And she's just using excuses to try to get rid of you, so that she doesn't feel cheap or bad..... That would not surprise me, men and women have done it since the beginning of time to each other.

12-10-2005, 02:35 AM	#31 (permalink)
pan6467 Lennonite Priest Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA	TS, No offense my friend but having read this it sounds you got some, messed up telling her about your driving incident... (may not have been what you did as much as how you made it sound....trust me I am king of foot in mouth). I speak from personal experience. It also sounds like, after reading this, you may have obsessed about her a bit, but not known much about her.... bad combination, been there done that and things I thought would get her "attention" so we could at least talk, backfired. The away messages to you may have seemed harmless, but some people have been raised differently. She may sound judgemental, or she may have Asians in her family and took offense to what you thought was a harmless joke. This one very lovely lady and I started dating and we talked about politics and issues, and we talked about prejudices. I told her that the only prejudice I had was against Filipino women, because when I was in the Navy, I saw guys marry them, bring them to the States and then when the men would go to sea the women were out cheating..... Turns out her uncle was Navy and married to a Filipino woman and she was close to her. I came off as a real asshole to her. She didn't tell me that night but when she didn't call or answer my calls, a mutual friend told me to lay off her because of what I said. To me I was being honest to her, I showed prejudiced and hatred. It also showed me how prejudice can destroy a relationship fast. Anyway, let it go man. She obviously has an opinion of you now that seemingly you will never be able to change. It happens, trust me..... live and learn. Women tend to pick up a lot more of what the man says, than we men pick up from what the women say (verbally or through body language), and we may not even realize we said or reacted a certain way because we just didn't think. She may have let the Asian joke go, but then when you told her about being drunk, she thought you and her weren't a match. The away messages may have been the final draw or she thought you were meaning them toward her. If you truly like this lady and wish to try to rectify everything, try writing her a letter from your heart explaining you have faults and you're young, but you really would like to get to know her and see her again. One of three things will happen: 1) she'll ignore it r send a nasty letter back 2) she'll read it and send you a letter back explaining that she just doesn't think it will work or 3) it'll break the ice and the two of you will start talking again. There's also the great possibility she was horny, found you used you for her kicks and thrills and never wanted anything. And she's just using excuses to try to get rid of you, so that she doesn't feel cheap or bad..... That would not surprise me, men and women have done it since the beginning of time to each other. __________________ I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?" Last edited by pan6467; 12-10-2005 at 03:42 AM..