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my 5 year old border collie, Oliver, was feeling ill. I took him to my vet a couple of times for some studies and we concluded he probably had a malignant tumor that needed surgical resection. I took him to the vet for the procedure ... when I opened the car door Oliver started to get out then stopped in his tracks as if something just startled him. It looked like he was staring past me and didn't want to come out of the car. (I've never seen him look fearful at anything) I kept coaxing him and he finally came out. Inside I gave him a big hug and kiss before going home. Hours later I got a phone call that his tumor was not resectable and that he probably wouldn't last post-operative recovery and suggested I allow them to put him to sleep. My heart broke completely that day. I keep thinking Oliver knew that he wouldn't see me again ... all he wanted was to be home with the people who love him - That was 2 years ago. I still feel guilt.
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