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Originally Posted by sprocket
they couldnt understand how i could not be ashamed of myself and of what i do. i just dont get it.. i really dont. to me, if someone feels ashamed to know me or interact with me based on what i do, i look at that as a flaw in their character not mine. to me, that kind of attitude is always a sign of someone who has had a very limited life experience.
im kind of regretting telling them now, but something like that becomes kind of hard to lie about. all in all my parents are good people and i respect them enough not to lie to them if i can help it. i would have had to construct and maintain a very big deception to hide it from them for long. it was more for their sake that i considered lying about my job, than for mine. i have no problem with what i do, but i know they will be spending a good deal of time now thinking about where they "failed as parents". my mom is probably doing double time on the rosary as we speak. damn if its one thing catholics are good at, its laying a guilt trip down on their kids. theyve got it down to a science 
ahh its getting late.. ill stop ranting. just needed to vent. |
I don't condemn what you do for a job, but I think you have a child-like way of looking at your parents' beliefs and values. They have every right to feel that the porn industry is not a worthy aspiration for their child. That's not a "character flaw". That's a disagreement, and you would do well to recognize that their disagreement with your choices is one apparently based on principle, not a character flaw. If you respect them as you say you do, you need to take them as they are and trust that their life experiences are just as valid as yours. I assume you have no older children. One day, when you have a child that disappoints you with a choice he or she has made -- on that day, you can begin to appreciate what parents invest in children, in terms of values and hopes.
I understand that it's a drag to be caught in this, and that you wish there was no conflict with your parents' values, but most people I know attach a strong stigma to the porn industry, rightly or wrongly. I don't see anything particularly unexpected in your parents' response. I think you ought to be more circumspect about how important people in your lives (such as your parents) value you enough to be brutally honest with you about your choices. It sounds like you are thinking about what this means to your parents. They do not owe you approval. As parents, they owe you honesty and guiding principles, tools to navigate through life, and it seems to me that you get both of those things from them, though you clearly disagree with them.