abaya

Hambone, I totally and fully respect your story. I think that for people who wait, your experience is the best that one could hope for. I have many friends (from my evangelical days) who made the same choice as you, and for most of them I am confident that they don't regret anything. I myself planned to be one of those people, but I chose to not be in that group after a certain point. I have no regrets about my choice, but as I said, I respect people who do choose to wait.

The funny thing is, for my bf and I, we're pretty much had all our experience with each other, too... without being married. And if we end up getting married, I have a feeling we'll feel quite similar to you and your wife. Neither of us wishes we had been with other people, or that we "missed out." We are happy with our "limited" experience... although, I'd be hard-pressed to say that we are that limited, given how much sex (and pretty damn experimental sex, at that) we have on a regular basis!!

EDIT: I forgot to address the OP! So basically, I have no issue with "purity rings," seeing as I used to have one in my young and idealistic days. My only problem is when it's worn as more than just a personal reminder; as in, when it is used as a "witnessing" tool by evangelicals. (E.g. someone asks, nice ring! and the girl says, "yeah, it's my purity ring, I'm waiting till marriage." To me, that is just arrogant as hell. Why the need to share?) Anyway, I also found it very weird about the whole father-and-ring thing... I have NEVER heard of that, with anyone I know who espoused purity and waiting for marriage. That is just damn weird, and yes, patriarchal.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran