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Originally Posted by rsl12
Why would you want a girl like this as a girlfriend? You say that she treats boyfriends differently than regular old friends, but why in the world would she? Seems to me that she assumes her friends are gullible idiots who believe blatant big lies. You're saying that she wouldn't think her boyfriend was as gullible, just by virtue of being a boyfriend? It makes very little sense, based on what you've described.
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It doesn't make much sense to me either, but I can tell you she doesn't play the same games with her boyfriends as she does her other friends. I suppose it's more of how she treats our friend 'A' who allows her to walk all over him. I see this a lot because quite/most often I am with the two of them together. She never really did anything like that to me until the boating incident, I guess she misjudged me and thought I might be like 'A'. I don't know if she was testing the waters or what but I've never been one to tolerate getting taken advantage of.
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Now then, you're sexually attracted to her--fine. The best thing, if you ask me, is to take a very honest approach. Next time you're flirting and you manage to find yourselves alone for a few minutes, you might want to bring it up--say something along the lines of, "you know J that I find you really sexy, and I've love to nail you on this table right now." See how she responds--if it's generally in a favorable way, you can then add, "I would love to be physical with you, but you should know that that's all I really want--no strings. You hurt me really badly, you know."
If you're really bent on being a boyfriend and not a regular friend, you can change that second line to read, "I would love to be physical with you, but you should know that I can only do so if we're together in a relationship."
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I'm not bent on being her boyfriend at all.. I'm just not interested in going back to becoming one of her 'friend' friends.
Yakk, I can understand if I'm being truthful with the history that I described. I can assure you 100% that I have not exaggerated anything to make her look worse or myself look better in the events that happened. I can't recall exactly word for word what our exchange were but it was definitely very close to what I said, and the exact order of events as well. It's like I told 'A' after it happened.. She may very well conjure up a different side to the story, considering how she just proved herself a liar to me. I wasn't going to ask anyone to take my side, and their friendship with her is between them and what happened with us shouldn't change anything with theirs. In fact, she did conjure up some unbelievable "details" about what happened that actually never did happen. I know I am not dilusional or insane and I know what happened, and I have no reason to stretch any aspect of the truth.
Now I very much agree with your comment about staying away from bad people, and that's why I have shut her out for this long. I guess I still have a bit of a hard time discerning if she is a bad person, or just made a mistake. I always thought she was a very good person up until she betrayed me.. But you're quite likely right, maybe I just was seeing her through rose colored glasses before.
Thanks for the advice guys, I definitely don't want to put myself in the situation that gives her power over me, even if in the form of rejection.