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Why would you want a girl like this as a girlfriend? You say that she treats boyfriends differently than regular old friends, but why in the world would she? Seems to me that she assumes her friends are gullible idiots who believe blatant big lies. You're saying that she wouldn't think her boyfriend was as gullible, just by virtue of being a boyfriend? It makes very little sense, based on what you've described.
Now then, you're sexually attracted to her--fine. The best thing, if you ask me, is to take a very honest approach. Next time you're flirting and you manage to find yourselves alone for a few minutes, you might want to bring it up--say something along the lines of, "you know J that I find you really sexy, and I've love to nail you on this table right now." See how she responds--if it's generally in a favorable way, you can then add, "I would love to be physical with you, but you should know that that's all I really want--no strings. You hurt me really badly, you know."
If you're really bent on being a boyfriend and not a regular friend, you can change that second line to read, "I would love to be physical with you, but you should know that I can only do so if we're together in a relationship."
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oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.
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