Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Abstinence's Actual Experiance vs. the Hype

hambone · 11-07-2005, 03:03 PM

I am one of those who waited for marriage for sex. I honestly wouldn't have changed a thing.

To say that my wife and I were completely ignorant going into is completely wrong though. We talked about it a lot before our wedding day. Believe it or not, you can ascertain another person's preferences and aversions through intimate conversation and through non explicit sexual contact (i.e. kissing, hugging, etc).

I went into my marriage with my eyes wide open. It is true that I did not know the physical sensations of being inside a woman, but that does not mean I didn't have a good ballpark idea. I knew the sort of things that turned her on, I know what turns me on. I knew her sex drive, I knew mine.

I also knew it wouldn't 'freakin' rock' in the sense that it would feel as good as fantasy ideas hint at. We both understood it would be uncomfortable, she knew it would hurt her, I had to prepare myself that I would not be an instant Sex God and that it would take time.

It is a wise statement that it takes practice, experience matters, patience is required. However, we chose to do our practicing together, to proudly be able to say that we have only ever been with each other.

Do I know if I am "good" at sex? No. And I really don't care. My wife thinks I am amazing and I think the same thing of her. We have been married for a short time and have already had a lot of different seasons involving our sex life. It has been hard, and it has been awesome at the same time.

On our honeymoon, we never had what we now consider "great sex". The whole two weeks, looking back, was pathetic in our abilities to really enjoy each other. But at the time is was everything we wanted it to be. We can look back on that and know that we have progressed so much and have proof that it is not an issue of the partner being poor, since we are the same people. We have just learned what the other one likes and dislikes.

I guess what I mean to say is, it has been perfect. Communication with each other was our key to success (and still is). If couple's decide to go this route, they need to talk. We knew what we were getting into. Intimacy is SO much more than intercourse, though you will NEVER hear me saying sex is not important in that regard.

11-07-2005, 03:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
hambone Zeroed In Location: CA	I am one of those who waited for marriage for sex. I honestly wouldn't have changed a thing. To say that my wife and I were completely ignorant going into is completely wrong though. We talked about it a lot before our wedding day. Believe it or not, you can ascertain another person's preferences and aversions through intimate conversation and through non explicit sexual contact (i.e. kissing, hugging, etc). I went into my marriage with my eyes wide open. It is true that I did not know the physical sensations of being inside a woman, but that does not mean I didn't have a good ballpark idea. I knew the sort of things that turned her on, I know what turns me on. I knew her sex drive, I knew mine. I also knew it wouldn't 'freakin' rock' in the sense that it would feel as good as fantasy ideas hint at. We both understood it would be uncomfortable, she knew it would hurt her, I had to prepare myself that I would not be an instant Sex God and that it would take time. It is a wise statement that it takes practice, experience matters, patience is required. However, we chose to do our practicing together, to proudly be able to say that we have only ever been with each other. Do I know if I am "good" at sex? No. And I really don't care. My wife thinks I am amazing and I think the same thing of her. We have been married for a short time and have already had a lot of different seasons involving our sex life. It has been hard, and it has been awesome at the same time. On our honeymoon, we never had what we now consider "great sex". The whole two weeks, looking back, was pathetic in our abilities to really enjoy each other. But at the time is was everything we wanted it to be. We can look back on that and know that we have progressed so much and have proof that it is not an issue of the partner being poor, since we are the same people. We have just learned what the other one likes and dislikes. I guess what I mean to say is, it has been perfect. Communication with each other was our key to success (and still is). If couple's decide to go this route, they need to talk. We knew what we were getting into. Intimacy is SO much more than intercourse, though you will NEVER hear me saying sex is not important in that regard. __________________ "Like liquid white from fallen glass, Nothing to cry over"