Quote:
MacIntyre, who thrills to find dates through the College Coalition, wears silver "purity ring," which her father slipped onto her finger during a mountain ceremony. When she gets married, she says, her father will give the ring to her husband.
And when she finally has sex, she says, "it's gonna' freaking rock."
|
Clipped from original text, found here.
The original article is your generic, “abstinent kids start college groups, whine about how kids who do have sex are immoral, whine about stigmatism, then ramble on about pledges and rings, while the article throws random fact or two about sex ed in the US while randomly not making any real point” type of article. I figure we’ve all read that article at least once, and it’s been posted here too, at least once. I just had to pick out the two parts that:
1) Creeped me out.
2) I had to call BS on.
The “creepy” part for me is the girl wearing a “purity ring,” which recognizes her hole has not been penetrated by an evil penis before marriage. Her daddy gave her the ring, and apparently will give the ring to her husband after marriage.
That whole concept to me is creepy, because it’s this odd acknowledgement that Dad somehow owns her virginity, and “gives” it to her husband. The symbolism is all there, and it’s nothing more than a ritualized property transfer. When Dad is giving a ring (symbolizing a hole) to your husband who now gets your ring (hole) that’s just….creepy.
I’m calling BS on her fantasy that her first time sex is going to “freaking rock.” Ha, ha ha. No.
For me anyway, sex is like any other skill. You have to practice it, pay attention to mistakes, make improvements, practice more (hehe), improve technique, listen to your partner, and share the experience. Sexual n00bs are not going to “freaking rock,” but they are going to have a really unique first time. I call it unique, because I’m thinking when you’ve spent your entire adolescent and young adult life focusing on sex as a concept, but not really knowing a whole lot about it, the actual experience is going to be a shocker. Since sex-ed isn’t really high on the ole abstinence crowd’s list of things to do, I can’t imagine the blind-leading-the-blind have hot sex the first, fifth, or even tenth time out.
Well. Okay, anyone having sex for the first times may not have "great" sex, but man, wouldn't it just be awful to find out that the person you married is totally different in preferences than you? That's more my point. If you have no clue what you like, and they have no clue what they like, there's a great upside, and a great downside.
The upside: you both get to explore each other from a completely ignorant (unbiased) perspective.
The downside: neither of you have any clue, and may find out real fast you like totally different things. That might be tough to resolve given you've said "I do." NO TAKE BACKS!!!
I’m also really curious, is there anyone out there who did have a delayed sex until marriage experiance, or situation like that, and would be willing to share? I’m so curious how it works out, compared to us “normal” “sluts” who had sex before marriage.
I know my first time was a whole “This is it? Really?” type of thing. It certainly got better, and I’m glad I had the experiences I’ve had. I mean, they make me who I am, and I’m not ashamed of that.
I love the idea of shared intimacy that the abstinence before marriage (ABM) crowd focuses on, I’ll give them that. It is important, to me, to have sex with someone you really care about. On the other hand, cheap sex with a fellow horney human, is not a bad thing either.
The human experience is just so varied and exciting, and inherently good, I have issues demonizing behavior pre-“insert hang-up here.” The question that always comes to my mind when I hear the ABM creed is “What miracle is marriage that it just makes anything that happens after it okay?”