I'm curious if there's an update to this scenario.
For my two cents, I always want to favor the route that chooses love. Yeah, she made out with a guy. I'd be upset too. Probably very upset. But, the fact that she was pretty much an emotional train wreck because of it, and came to you the very next day, AND wasn't even able to go to class because she was so screwed up over it, is really a very telling sign that it's not likely to ever happen again, and she's truly sorry for it to begin with. For me, this would be enough for me to be ok. What I would do if I found out she asked a friend to look out for her, to the point of begging not to let her go anywhere, would really just result in my saying, "then don't drink."
I mean really... this entire series of issues stems from her having an issue with inhibitions + drinking... which lots of people have. But, that should mean the drinking should stop. Tell her if she's going to be that way while you're gone, then skip the drinking for 9 months until you return to her.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Redlemon
Have you been dating her in order to "save" her? There's a term for that, I don't remember what it is, but my wife's best guy friend went through a number of relationships where he was trying to be the knight in shining armor, and it wasn't healthy for him or his women.
|
It's usually referred to as "Rescuer Syndrome". I know it doesn't sound lofty, but oh well. People in caregiving positions commonly have issues with becoming subject to this mindset, if they develop a need for helping others to validate themselves. Regardless, I don't think that's the case here... I think he just really loves the girl and doesn't want to lose her over "nothing". It's normal to not want to lose a relationship over what is perceived to be trivial reasons. Everyone wants stuff to mean soemthing... and that especially includes loss.