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Originally Posted by bubonico
I considered putting this in my thread about my girlfriend withdrawing from problems, but it’s pretty much a new topic.
For about 3 weeks she's been more distant than she's ever been. Yesterday she wrote me an email saying she has feelings for another guy and she wants the opportunity to see other people. She loves me but she just can't do the long distance thing, it's too lonely. Also she's 19 years old and feels tied down with me. I guess she needs to explore the waters so to speak.
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Dude... she just sold you a whopper the size of Texas and you bought it... All her talk was bullshit Womanese talk and she really means that she has no interest level in you anymore and she wants to fuck other guys.
If she did love you she wouldn't even
think about seeing other guys. She's just feeding you this crap in order to prevent you from buying a 9-millimeter automatic and blowing your brains out.
She doesn't need to "explore the waters"... She wants to go have lots of wild and crazy sex---
with other men. This woman insulted you big time and you took it.
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I called her and we talked for a long time. I handled the situation in the most mature manner I knew how. She kept saying how much she loved me and she couldn’t believe how understanding I was. I basically told her that I want her to be happy and if she needs to see other people then that's what she needs to do. I downplayed my pain to the greatest extent that I could so she wouldn't feel bad. After much relationship type discussion we talked just like normal and I was very happy. She said she still wants to talk to me a few times a week and email every day or so, and at the time it seemed like a grand plan. After we got off the phone though I crashed hard.
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Why did you have a long phone conversation with her? You can't take her word for it on the phone. The telephone is one of women's greatest weapons (other than witholding sex). What you ought to have done was talk to her
face-to-face so you could've compared her body language to her words.
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I just wrote her an email and said basically that I love her and because of that I want her to be happy however that is. She deserves to be held and touched and loved in the physical manner that I just can't provide right now. She doesn't deserve to be in a lonely relationship. I felt like she did need to know how much pain I was in though. Like her dating another man is really not something I’m okay with, so I also said that the idea of her pursuing a relationship with another man is very painful to me. I told her I need time to heal and maintaining correspondence with her right now is not gonna help that. I'm already aching to talk to her though.
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Damn... you shouldn't have written her an e-mail.
Face-to-face conversations. And you shouldn't have professed your love to her through an e-mail message. If you want to show a woman how much you love her do it through your actions. You
show a woman you love her; you don't tell her.
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What should I do. Should I keep trying to talk to her and keep being her friend with the hopes that she'll realize how much she loves me or that she's still in love with me. Or do I let go and begin to mend my heart, and see where things are between us in a year. I don't really care how much pain I feel between now and then. I just want to be with her in the future, and I guess truly more than anything I want her to be happy.
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Give it up... her interest level went south of the border. No matter what she may say she'll never want to consider getting in a relationship with you again.
You're better off meeting other women, having some wild and crazy sex, and totally forgetting about her. If after a year she decides to come back to you would you really want to take her after she left you to go have penty of wild and crazy sex with other guys? Would you really want to take her back a year or two from now knowing she's probably been purposefully hooking up with guys you hate or guys you would hate just to spite you?
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I’ve heard the saying that goes like “if you love her let her go, if she comes back to you she’s yours”. How exactly does this work though. What exactly does letting her go entail. She still loves me and wants to talk to me. Do I do that, or do I sever communication. What exactly is letting her go. I get the gyst of it, but the specifics are hard.
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She does not love you!!! If she loved you she wouldn't want to see other guys to begin with. She has no more interest in dating you but she's sugar-coating things because she doesn't want you to go buy that 9-mm automatic and waste yourself (because she doesn't want your suicide on her conscience).
Cast off all ties with her... you're better off totally erasing her from your life.