bubonico

I considered putting this in my thread about my girlfriend withdrawing from problems, but it’s pretty much a new topic.

For about 3 weeks she's been more distant than she's ever been. Yesterday she wrote me an email saying she has feelings for another guy and she wants the opportunity to see other people. She loves me but she just can't do the long distance thing, it's too lonely. Also she's 19 years old and feels tied down with me. I guess she needs to explore the waters so to speak.

I called her and we talked for a long time. I handled the situation in the most mature manner I knew how. She kept saying how much she loved me and she couldn’t believe how understanding I was. I basically told her that I want her to be happy and if she needs to see other people then that's what she needs to do. I downplayed my pain to the greatest extent that I could so she wouldn't feel bad. After much relationship type discussion we talked just like normal and I was very happy. She said she still wants to talk to me a few times a week and email every day or so, and at the time it seemed like a grand plan. After we got off the phone though I crashed hard.

I just wrote her an email and said basically that I love her and because of that I want her to be happy however that is. She deserves to be held and touched and loved in the physical manner that I just can't provide right now. She doesn't deserve to be in a lonely relationship. I felt like she did need to know how much pain I was in though. Like her dating another man is really not something I’m okay with, so I also said that the idea of her pursuing a relationship with another man is very painful to me. I told her I need time to heal and maintaining correspondence with her right now is not gonna help that. I'm already aching to talk to her though.

What should I do. Should I keep trying to talk to her and keep being her friend with the hopes that she'll realize how much she loves me or that she's still in love with me. Or do I let go and begin to mend my heart, and see where things are between us in a year. I don't really care how much pain I feel between now and then. I just want to be with her in the future, and I guess truly more than anything I want her to be happy.

I’ve heard the saying that goes like “if you love her let her go, if she comes back to you she’s yours”. How exactly does this work though. What exactly does letting her go entail. She still loves me and wants to talk to me. Do I do that, or do I sever communication. What exactly is letting her go. I get the gyst of it, but the specifics are hard.

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"People sleep peacably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf" -George Orwell