abaya

Have you told him this fear, SW? Not in an angry, ultimatum-like tone, but just an honest, cut-the-bullshit tone?... he might realize that dismissing your concerns for a long period of time is going to have consequences.

I think people do not realize that they make conscious choices every day, and that those choices have consequences. People just get into habits and feel like that's "their thing," that there is no choice involved... it's just a pattern or rut. It sounds like your husband is in that rut of non-communication and non-recognition of what's behind your statements. What your husband is doing is choosing to brush you off on a regular basis by not opening up to your feelings and revealing his own feelings. This choice of his has consequences; it creates distance between you two, and ultimately, it may lead you to leave him.

I think it would be fair to alert him to the fact that his choices are having consequences. Naturally, you have a choice too: to let him know this fact or not. The consequence of you not being direct with him is constant frustration and loss of self-worth. The only question is, are you ready for whatever fallout there may be from a confrontation? (I'd say you are, but that's your decision.) good luck, SW.. we are here for you.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran