Rodney

Where to start? Pick a divorce lawyer; just call one. Say you want to pay for an initial consultation, because you haven't broached the issue yet and you're hoping for an amicable settlement, but you want to know 1) how to officially carry out an amicable settlement in this state 2) any pitfalls or things to watch out for, and 3) how to be prepared in advance if things get ugly. In other words, if the good option doesn't work, what do you do next? Frankly, the best way to find the confidence to proceed is to research what the road looks like. Removing some of the unknown removes some of the fear.

Do that first and don't delay. Then pick your date, get a place lined up, and move out. If it's too much to consider setting up a whole new apartment, just take a furnished short-term apartment or motel room by the week or month for a little bit until your head straightens out. Your stuff can go to storage or into someone's garage. If you can stay with a friend for a week or two, that's great, too.

In terms of haggling over who owns/owes what, you probably know that most of the argument and screaming won't be about the objects themselves, but about what they symbolized in the relationship. For that reason -- well, don't give away the farm, but give in on things whose significance is more symbolic than economic. Remember, you want out, not some kind of emotional victory or justification.