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Originally Posted by Charlatan
It is very easy to be snide and say, "who needs it" but we do. The celebration, the declaration of commitment *are* important. It changes the nature of your relationship and should not be entered into lightly.
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Charlatan, thanks for your post... I found it really good to read. After years of the usual girly expectations, in my current relationship I've worked hard on changing those assumptions/expectations and just allowing things to evolve on their own. Thus I have come to agree with much of what you've said. I still believe in marriage, that as a form of public commitment and celebration, it is inherently different than just cohabiting for the rest of your lives. But the term is not as loaded as it used to be, for me. Which feels good.
Like I said, though, I think the whole who-does-the-asking thing depends on each relationship. I think that in general, guys just take longer to get to the "I am ready" point... not always, but often. And many guys do like to maintain control over that declaration of commitment, rather than letting the girl make that decision for them. And girls, if they admit it, aren't always ready when they think they are... we just get impatient.
