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Martel and I have struggled with this from time to time, although we're about the happiest crazy-in-love couple I know. Mainly, for us it happens because one of us is thinking very hard about something, and all that internal dialouge gets in the way of really communicating. Often, when I'm thinking about something, I don't know I'm thinking about it so hard- Martel then calls me on it, and it makes me upset because I feel like he's being... oh, I dunno... intrusive. Only when we sit down and talk about it (and sometimes, a meaningful conversation is had only after 15-20 minutes of yelling, screaming, and crying at each other) do I fully realize what's going on in my head, or he in his.
Communication is the hardest thing about being married, IMHO.
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Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox
She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi
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