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My parents were quite offended that we did not want to go to their house every Christmas and Thanksgiving days. I just ended up having to say that it wasn't gonna happen. I got complaints for it. We normally try to spend alternate holidays with each in-law. Every other year we drive to Indy (when allowed by the weather) and the other years we stay here with my parents for Christmas. I still get complaints but I remind them that we'll come next year. I also let them know well in advance and remind them every so often through the year. It helps them feel more prepared for it. Don't say it as though you don't want to spend it with them but you'd rather have a quiet day and focus on your new little one.
BUT - you may want to take at least one Christmas every few years, at least, to spend with them. This is for them to see you and your daughter as much as for you to spend with them. It still shows them you care and want to be part of the family. But you need your own core family time together too.
Last year we managed to get both hubby's and my family to come to our place for Thanksgiving. I loved it and managed to handle it pretty well. We even had one unexpected visitor and my brother and his wife didn't bicker the whole time. We aren't doing that this year but we've communicated that to both of our families already.
Communicate as sensitively, clearly and frequently as you can and if they still can't handle it you will have to steal yourself to ignore the complaints.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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