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Originally Posted by denim
Most recently, I spent a lot of money and effort on a date with a woman who didn't even remember, or who put it out of her mind fairly quickly. The more fool, me. I guess I shouldn't have bothered.  |
Spending lots of money and energy on dates can easily make things awkward feeling for her, which can then trigger the "I'd better keep my distance from this guy" defense mechanism I've seen happen a number of times. Only a hunch, but seems to be what happened there. Either that, or she was an ungrateful bitch hehe.
Never EVER go all out for first dates btw. First, it can make things umcomfortable and set you up for disappointment, because it will be hard for her to know how to reciprocate such treatment. Secondly, you are in effect starting with the climax/highnote, and going down hill from there. In other words, if you start by giving it all you have, then you set a level of expectation which is near impossible to follow up with on your next dates, and deeper into the relationship.
So my suggestion is that you try starting off with simple yet intimate first dates, things which allow you to talk and get to know each other in a comfortable way. For example, you might meet for a drink or coffee at a cool place. Maybe next date go bowling or dancing. Goal is to get to know each other, and show you are fun to be with. Save the money part for when you already are involved with her, and for the big things, like her birthday. But starting off too strong can easily rub her fur wrong, so dont do that
