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Poppinjay · 10-25-2005, 05:20 AM

I didn't really call you on it. I thought maybe it might be an effective tool. You're right, in a conversation, challenging a person can produce some good results. But careful consideration of things that go against the grain also produce good results.

Back to the OP, there is nothing like a new relationship with the shrink wrap freshly off. mmmmm..... new relationship smell....grdlgrdlg.... Which is why it dismays me to see so many threads on this board on the topic of feeling an old relationship is stale because there's somebody new on the scene, and of course, nobody has ever felt this way!

Beyond communication with your SO, I think proper communication also requires introspection, which, admittedly, I don't do enough of. There will never be that same feeling of the shiny, new relationship, and that's good. That is when we tend to make irrational decisions, or as the old Bloom County strip said, "love makes us buttheads". After that wears off, that's when real understanding and communication of who this other person is starts, without the blinders that everything they do and think is great. We have to decide how we feel about it, and figure out how to communicate it.

I can only guess, because I'm married to a strong willed Polish girl who measures her communication in volume and not distance, is that distance occurs when we start to judge our SO's opinions differently, but we don't talk about it. "Growing apart." Maybe distance occurs srtictly when we are tethered to a situation we don't want to be in?

10-25-2005, 05:20 AM	#7 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	I didn't really call you on it. I thought maybe it might be an effective tool. You're right, in a conversation, challenging a person can produce some good results. But careful consideration of things that go against the grain also produce good results. Back to the OP, there is nothing like a new relationship with the shrink wrap freshly off. mmmmm..... new relationship smell....grdlgrdlg.... Which is why it dismays me to see so many threads on this board on the topic of feeling an old relationship is stale because there's somebody new on the scene, and of course, nobody has ever felt this way! Beyond communication with your SO, I think proper communication also requires introspection, which, admittedly, I don't do enough of. There will never be that same feeling of the shiny, new relationship, and that's good. That is when we tend to make irrational decisions, or as the old Bloom County strip said, "love makes us buttheads". After that wears off, that's when real understanding and communication of who this other person is starts, without the blinders that everything they do and think is great. We have to decide how we feel about it, and figure out how to communicate it. I can only guess, because I'm married to a strong willed Polish girl who measures her communication in volume and not distance, is that distance occurs when we start to judge our SO's opinions differently, but we don't talk about it. "Growing apart." Maybe distance occurs srtictly when we are tethered to a situation we don't want to be in? __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet Last edited by Poppinjay; 10-25-2005 at 05:22 AM..