Looks like I'll be the first, again, to jump off the hate train. Just because he dumped you for having a lack of confidence does not make him a bad man or make what he did "horrible." Would you rather he be honest about WHAT made him no longer appreciate the relationship, or simply leave? Confidence is very important to me in a relationship, because it's very telling. If you can't even love yourself, why should I love you? If you can't be assertive enough to tell me whats wrong, am I supposed to guess? It makes for plenty of awkward situation if one or both of the partners can't be confident enough to assert their desires. Where does honest communication come from? From two confident people talking about themselves and what they need. If you can't decide what you need AND tell people about it, then you're doing a disservice to yourself and them. Any fear you have of telling the other person what YOU need is unnatural.
Quote:
|
It sounds to me like he wanted to be with someone like you, and you fit the description of what he wanted, with just one thing missing. In my opinion that is not a good way to have a relationship, you shouldn't be with someone because they almost fit your idea of a perfect partner, and you think you can change them to fit that idea.
|
Mage nailed it right on the head, and this is why I don't think he was a "bad" man for doing what he did. The 'bad' man would have stayed with you and tried to mold you into the person he wanted, instead of telling you that he couldn't wait around for it and leaving. By leaving, he gives you the chance to be a relationship where the other person isn't trying to change you.
The above posters do have something right: find people who love you for who you are, and be blantantly honest with them. Hold nothing back. Tell them EVERYTHING. Once you realize that they still love you after you've told them everything, you'll realize that there is nothing to be gained in holding back yourself, your love, or your desires. Only by becoming confident enough to assert your desires will you ever be able to be truly happy in a relationship.