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jRuntlets · 10-20-2005, 05:09 PM

Hi there everyone,
I'm 20, and have recently been passed over for what he says is my "Lack of confidence". Now, I know I'm not a confident in my physical self but I'm confident in every other aspect of my life. However, he said because I wasn't confident enough to be aggressive (ie. initiating kissing ect) that it was a turn off. The issue I have with this is that we spoke about this and I was trying, but the only opportunities that were presented after the discussion were in public situations where we were with a group of 10 or so friends. This in my opinion was not ideal for me to try out new things and be comfortable. At the same time he also said my lack of confidence in myself made me question him. It's not as if I turned away when he initiated, and I also initiated cuddling or standing close with my arm in his when we were in these public situations.

Where as, when I made the effort to look good when we went out (more than I would if I was going by myself), if I got any sort of compliment from him it was "that's a nice shirt." uh, yes that's why I bought it. The only time he told me he thought I was pretty was when he was dumping me, or when he first met me and his best friend told me he said I was pretty. I know I have a hard time giving compliments so I made the extra effort to work on it. I'd say things like "Wow, I really like that shirt, it makes your eyes look fantastic." because I feel stupid saying that someone has pretty eyes with no lead in.

I feel like I put myself out there and really tried because I know these are issues I have to struggle with. At the same time he didn't give me a chance, four days after our discussion about what we wanted from each other he cut it off. I had a few things to get comfortable with that take more than four days to do so, and he never allowed us to be in a situation where I was able to do it one on one, we were always with people. He ended things by saying I was a worth while person, and I was great… but I think if he really liked me for who I was he wouldn’t have made excuses and helped me through things.
What do you think, was he fair with me or not?

10-20-2005, 05:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
jRuntlets Crazy	Confidence Hi there everyone, I'm 20, and have recently been passed over for what he says is my "Lack of confidence". Now, I know I'm not a confident in my physical self but I'm confident in every other aspect of my life. However, he said because I wasn't confident enough to be aggressive (ie. initiating kissing ect) that it was a turn off. The issue I have with this is that we spoke about this and I was trying, but the only opportunities that were presented after the discussion were in public situations where we were with a group of 10 or so friends. This in my opinion was not ideal for me to try out new things and be comfortable. At the same time he also said my lack of confidence in myself made me question him. It's not as if I turned away when he initiated, and I also initiated cuddling or standing close with my arm in his when we were in these public situations. Where as, when I made the effort to look good when we went out (more than I would if I was going by myself), if I got any sort of compliment from him it was "that's a nice shirt." uh, yes that's why I bought it. The only time he told me he thought I was pretty was when he was dumping me, or when he first met me and his best friend told me he said I was pretty. I know I have a hard time giving compliments so I made the extra effort to work on it. I'd say things like "Wow, I really like that shirt, it makes your eyes look fantastic." because I feel stupid saying that someone has pretty eyes with no lead in. I feel like I put myself out there and really tried because I know these are issues I have to struggle with. At the same time he didn't give me a chance, four days after our discussion about what we wanted from each other he cut it off. I had a few things to get comfortable with that take more than four days to do so, and he never allowed us to be in a situation where I was able to do it one on one, we were always with people. He ended things by saying I was a worth while person, and I was great… but I think if he really liked me for who I was he wouldn’t have made excuses and helped me through things. What do you think, was he fair with me or not? __________________ Horses come and go, but some leave permanent hoof prints on your life.