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I guess I have three close friends... two are from elementary/jr. high/HS, and another one is from college. They are all very different kinds of people, and I only see each of them maybe once or twice a year and talk a few times more than that (phone, e-mail)... but we support each other pretty much unconditionally. That's valuable to me. There have been other friends who wanted to stay in touch, and with whom I go back just as far, but I let the communication ball drop with them because our friendships just weren't as... solid? Enduring? Deep? Dunno... it just wasn't there.
There is another friend from grad school who I am close to--we could call each other at 3am if we needed to cry (which used to be my definition of a best friend)--but I wouldn't put her in with the "best friends" until a good length of time has passed (like 10 years). This is because in my life, I have had many "best friends" who evaporated after a few intense years... and now I hesitate to give that label to anyone until we've stood the test of time. I started realizing this especially after I was a bridesmaid in 4 weddings, including one as a maid of honor, and KNEW that none of those girls was a "best friend," so how could they know that I was their "best friend" in return?... they were way too young to get married (22-24), not even knowing who their best friends were.
Oh, and all of these people are women, because I was best friends with a guy a couple of times and it shattered me when I fell in love with them but couldn't have them. Now, my current SO is pretty much my best (guy) friend, and I wouldn't to have another guy close to me anyway, since I don't think that's right (for me). But no best (girl) friends... just close friends with a history.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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