Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

noodle · 10-17-2005, 06:18 PM

Quote:

THE PLEASURE DOME OF MANOLO
(A Lost Poem of Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

In cyberspace, Manolo did
A pleasure dome of shoes decree;
Where girls of well-turned ankle ran
In Kenneth Cole boots of calf and tan
Through fields of Will’s Fancy.
There Cynthia Rowleys strewn o’er the ground
With Mary Jane straps were girdled round;
And Isaac Mizrahis bright with crystal bling,
And rhinestone blossoms on Claudia Ciuti toes;
Suede Jimmy Choos to make a sad heart sing,
And Prada sandals, green as the leaves of a rose.

But oh! The hall of horrors one must pass
To reach the land of the style and taste–
Cheap plastic flipflops! Ugly and crass,
Birkenstocks that look like the ass,
Uggs fashioned from the steaming toxic waste!
And in this chasm, with cruel malice seething,
As if in super-tight vinyl pants he were breathing,
Demon Lagerfeld lingers, and lurks, and laughs.
Beneath his foul bloviating bursts
Echo the cries of the deluded few:
“But these Crocs were cheap, and comfortable too!”
This tasteless tumult Manolo heard from far,
And cried out, “Ayyyyy! This, it means the war!”
He then brought forth the dome of foot fashion pleasure,
With Beverly Feldmans making up the walls;
For flooring, fair Coach wedges beyond measure,
And Miu Miu ceilings for its marbled halls.
Ah, how it did allure the style-starved hordes,
This pleasure dome of Blahnik, Delman, Kors!

Fore’er shall I linger in this pleasure dome–
Caovillas like fire! Cole Haans, cool as ice!–
And if the Lagerfeld I see there,
Shall throw a Pucci and shout, “Beware!”
He shall not besmirch our shoeland fair!
Praise the Manolo, praise him twice,
Standing in Zanotti wedges tall;
For he hath made for one and all
A super fantastic paradise.

The whole thing was worth it just to read the phrase "Birkenstocks that look like the ass"!

I never understood the female affinity for really expensive shoes. Tall, comfy and cute is all I need.