Looking for Fashion Advice? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

politicophile · 10-17-2005, 06:02 PM

I had run into this blog several months ago, but entirely forgot about it until I ran across it again today. Essentially, the blog is maintained by Manolo, a mysterious yet highly fashion conscious man who gives advice on various aspects of fashion. Perhaps most importantly, other than Manolo's generally spot-on taste, is his unusual use of the English language. I have decided that he actually speaks English fluently and only pretends to have significant trouble with articles and syntax. Withouf further ado, here is a sample of his blogging and a link to the main page:

Link

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manolo

Manolo says, here you see the Ugg Classic Short in the baby pink. The only peoples who should be wearing this boot are the pre-teen girls who love the Hello Kitty.

With this boot there is no of the glamour, or the sex appeal, or the style. It is comfortable, but that is all. Worse, this boot, it is the trend that has outlasted its charm.

Once, the Manolo, he saw the aging minx the Shannon Doherty coming out of the Malibu Country Market, and she had on the Uggs and the miniskirt of the denim.

Perhaps she saw the Manolo frowning at the ugliness of her feetwear, for she scowled at the Manolo as if to say "you are the insect who is not worthy to gaze upon the shoes of the Shannon Doherty."

The Manolo, he was all whatever biotch, I am the Manolo, and your shoes, they are ridiculous. You are the woman approaching the middle age, but you insist on dressing like the 12-year-old.

Manolo says, do not be the Shannon Doherty. Do not wear the Uggs.

Be sure to note that Manolo has at least a dozen different blogs dedicated to specific fashion aspects. I find The Gallery of The Horrors to be the funniest.

noodle · 10-17-2005, 06:18 PM

Quote:

THE PLEASURE DOME OF MANOLO
(A Lost Poem of Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

In cyberspace, Manolo did
A pleasure dome of shoes decree;
Where girls of well-turned ankle ran
In Kenneth Cole boots of calf and tan
Through fields of Will’s Fancy.
There Cynthia Rowleys strewn o’er the ground
With Mary Jane straps were girdled round;
And Isaac Mizrahis bright with crystal bling,
And rhinestone blossoms on Claudia Ciuti toes;
Suede Jimmy Choos to make a sad heart sing,
And Prada sandals, green as the leaves of a rose.

But oh! The hall of horrors one must pass
To reach the land of the style and taste–
Cheap plastic flipflops! Ugly and crass,
Birkenstocks that look like the ass,
Uggs fashioned from the steaming toxic waste!
And in this chasm, with cruel malice seething,
As if in super-tight vinyl pants he were breathing,
Demon Lagerfeld lingers, and lurks, and laughs.
Beneath his foul bloviating bursts
Echo the cries of the deluded few:
“But these Crocs were cheap, and comfortable too!”
This tasteless tumult Manolo heard from far,
And cried out, “Ayyyyy! This, it means the war!”
He then brought forth the dome of foot fashion pleasure,
With Beverly Feldmans making up the walls;
For flooring, fair Coach wedges beyond measure,
And Miu Miu ceilings for its marbled halls.
Ah, how it did allure the style-starved hordes,
This pleasure dome of Blahnik, Delman, Kors!

Fore’er shall I linger in this pleasure dome–
Caovillas like fire! Cole Haans, cool as ice!–
And if the Lagerfeld I see there,
Shall throw a Pucci and shout, “Beware!”
He shall not besmirch our shoeland fair!
Praise the Manolo, praise him twice,
Standing in Zanotti wedges tall;
For he hath made for one and all
A super fantastic paradise.

The whole thing was worth it just to read the phrase "Birkenstocks that look like the ass"!

I never understood the female affinity for really expensive shoes. Tall, comfy and cute is all I need.

shesus · 10-17-2005, 06:32 PM

As many people can tell you...I LOVE shoes. I hate Uggs because they really have no style. However, after a winter in Chicago and icy feet in my high heeled boots, I'm ready to make the fashion sacrifice and get a pair of warm boots and Uggs look like the warmest I've seen. I think that some people can be too snooty when it comes to fashion. I also hate when people try to advertise their things by putting down others. It usually has the opposite effect on me. Hey Manolo might notice me if I'm wearing Uggs and I can ask him for a new shoe wardrobe...that's a thought

PS...that poem is pretty funny, but sadly I can relate...maybe I am a snooty person when it come to shoes

politicophile · 10-17-2005, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohh_shesus

As many people can tell you...I LOVE shoes. I hate Uggs because they really have no style. However, after a winter in Chicago and icy feet in my high heeled boots, I'm ready to make the fashion sacrifice and get a pair of warm boots and Uggs look like the warmest I've seen. I think that some people can be too snooty when it comes to fashion. I also hate when people try to advertise their things by putting down others. It usually has the opposite effect on me. Hey Manolo might notice me if I'm wearing Uggs and I can ask him for a new shoe wardrobe...that's a thought

PS...that poem is pretty funny, but sadly I can relate...maybe I am a snooty person when it come to shoes

Trust me: there are much warmer boots than Uggs. I'm from Maine, so I am entirely aware of the importance of warm boots, but Manolo is right when he says that functional shoes don't have to be ugly. Shesus, if I were you, I'd be looking at something more like this. Far, far warmer than Uggs and significantly more stylish.

shesus · 10-17-2005, 07:59 PM

Politicophile: Thank you, I will definitely check those out! I was sure there was something better out there, but with advertising Uggs are thrown at you constantly

denim · 10-18-2005, 09:52 AM

There's only one style that matters. If you've got denim, you don't need anything else.

Redlemon · 10-18-2005, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by politicophile

Perhaps most importantly, other than Manolo's generally spot-on taste, is his unusual use of the English language. I have decided that he actually speaks English fluently and only pretends to have significant trouble with articles and syntax.

Ah, so that's what Air45 does when he isn't posting on TFP; I wondered about that.

10-17-2005, 06:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
shesus Fancy Location: Chicago	As many people can tell you...I LOVE shoes. I hate Uggs because they really have no style. However, after a winter in Chicago and icy feet in my high heeled boots, I'm ready to make the fashion sacrifice and get a pair of warm boots and Uggs look like the warmest I've seen. I think that some people can be too snooty when it comes to fashion. I also hate when people try to advertise their things by putting down others. It usually has the opposite effect on me. Hey Manolo might notice me if I'm wearing Uggs and I can ask him for a new shoe wardrobe...that's a thought PS...that poem is pretty funny, but sadly I can relate...maybe I am a snooty person when it come to shoes __________________ Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

10-17-2005, 07:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
shesus Fancy Location: Chicago	Politicophile: Thank you, I will definitely check those out! I was sure there was something better out there, but with advertising Uggs are thrown at you constantly __________________ Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

10-18-2005, 09:52 AM	#6 (permalink)
denim Banned Location: Massachusetts, USA	There's only one style that matters. If you've got denim, you don't need anything else.