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ngdawg · 10-16-2005, 01:28 PM

I was exactly where you are now. We were living together, everyone around us was getting married, yet we were still boyfriend and girlfriend, yet sharing our home, bills, etc. Sharing a life, but nothing else made it seem something big was missing.
After the third wedding in less than a year we attended, I started pouting a lot, he asked what's wrong and i whined, "I'm TIRED of being the girlfriend when we've been living together! I wanna get married and have a huge party!" We were married in less than 8 weeks (long-range planning isn't necessary, btw).
But, no engagement ring or anything, which sometimes I wonder if I should have held out for. There are reasons for an 'engagement'. It's a promise, a period of preparation. The ring seals this promise. If the woman breaks the promise, she gives the ring back and if the man breaks it, he lets her keep it or decide whether or not to give it back to him.
I'm not sure the way I handled it was best. Let your feelings and concerns be known and if possible, express that you expect an answer at such a time.
Don't give an ultimatum unless you are totally prepared for a reply in the negative. But don't hang on forever if you feel this strongly. The old addage, why pay for the milk when the cow is free holds true here. And you are not being contradictory.

10-16-2005, 01:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I was exactly where you are now. We were living together, everyone around us was getting married, yet we were still boyfriend and girlfriend, yet sharing our home, bills, etc. Sharing a life, but nothing else made it seem something big was missing. After the third wedding in less than a year we attended, I started pouting a lot, he asked what's wrong and i whined, "I'm TIRED of being the girlfriend when we've been living together! I wanna get married and have a huge party!" We were married in less than 8 weeks (long-range planning isn't necessary, btw). But, no engagement ring or anything, which sometimes I wonder if I should have held out for. There are reasons for an 'engagement'. It's a promise, a period of preparation. The ring seals this promise. If the woman breaks the promise, she gives the ring back and if the man breaks it, he lets her keep it or decide whether or not to give it back to him. I'm not sure the way I handled it was best. Let your feelings and concerns be known and if possible, express that you expect an answer at such a time. Don't give an ultimatum unless you are totally prepared for a reply in the negative. But don't hang on forever if you feel this strongly. The old addage, why pay for the milk when the cow is free holds true here. And you are not being contradictory. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.