MEAD

This is going to be quite long.

Hey there everyone. I try and be pretty active in this forum and give my input on the various topics. The last time I posted anything myself was when I had a pretty difficult break up with the first person I ever loved, thankfully with all your help and some work and care on either side, things with that have setteled and we are able to be friends. Anyhow, since everyone helped so much last time I come with more questions regarding my new relationship. You must understand that I don't know much about women so I need to be informed as much as possible. My last and only other girl friend was a good friend before we were together, and everyone knows that those are much easier in the early stages. However, with the girl I am seeing now, I only just met her this semester. So the experience of meeting a new person and starting to date them is totally new to me. Now I really don't want to mess this relationship up just due to my inexperience with women, but I seem to be getting really mixed signals with this girl and it is often frustrating.

Let me tell this as it happened. I went on a casual date with this girl a couple weeks ago, it went well, we hung out with some of her friends, who I got along with, and we went back to my place and talked by ourselves for a while. I didnt make a move to kiss her, but I went for some closer physical contact, which seemed well met. She left and I hugged her goodybe at the car door. I have class with her MWF. I'd see her then and we'd talk on the phone and online very easily. Things were still pretty nascent and at times a little awkward, but I was happy.

We already had plans to go to a concert for the next weekend so when that rolls around eveything is still going well. We went to the show and then back to my place where we fell on the bed dead tired, I managed to get the lights turned off and we talked and got closer to each other for a while before I went to kiss her. Thankfully that went well, it lasted a few seconds and nothing was said. I went back to kiss her again and it lasted a bit longer, again nothing was really said. I guess we were still figuring out what we thought, lol. Finally we both sat up, I brushed her hair to the side, and she dove in to kiss me. I guess we had it right this time because it was a much more intense experience. There's no need to get graphic about what we did after that point, but I'll just term it "fooling around" there wasnt any kind of sex, but still great mutual enjoyment of each other's bodies. That went on for about an hour or so and probably would have went on longer if it were not 5:30 am by that time. She ended up falling asleep with me. We woke up early the next day and I walked her down to her car, hugged her and kissed her goodbye. I was on top of the world.
Well Monday rolls around and its time to see her in class, I really expected to get a kiss or at least a hug from her, but when I approached there was nothing. Just "Hello," but I could deal with that although I'm used to hugging all my female friends when greeting them, I figured maybe she didn't do that so much, and that when things were more comfortable we could do that. But things jsut got worse, I sat next to her in class and I didnt get the impression that she was interested in me at all anymore, I would have given up right there if I hadnt liked her so much and if she hadnt called me later that night and had such a great and easy conversation with me. I was excited again and figured on Wednesday I'd get my hug and kiss.

Wednesday: no hug. no kiss. I'm bummed and once again she doesnt seem to be interested in me.

So I'm like seething frustrated with her because it seems that we can talk just great on the phone or IM, she wants to talk, she starts conversation and acts cute, but in person it just doesnt happen. I'm at the end of my rope when she tells me she wants to meet me on Thurs and do something, so figure I'll give it a chance, I like her so much, I tell ehr I do, and she seems to really care for me too. Thurs night comes and she even brings me something to eat, but no hug no kiss at the door. I do all I can to sit close and get my hands on her and she doesnt move away. We end up in my room and I manage a quick kiss but that's it. She doesnt seem to want to take it any further.

This all makes me very sad, I don't know how to take this disconnect from how close we are in conversation and how it goes in person. We have plans to go on a trip next weekend and she cant seem to be more excited for it, and that makes me really happy. But on the other hand I am very afraid it will just a weekend of me pursuing her and her accepting the pursuits but not showing any extended interest beyond that. I don't know how to take it all. It confuses and sadens me a lot, I really want things to work out with her because the more I learn about her, the more we have in common and the more it makes me like her. But I can't deal with these seemingly mixed signals.

Am I just pushing things too hard and expecting too much too soon?
Does she not really like me as much as I thought?
Am I just a friend?
Is she just not affectionate?
WTF do I do?

__________________
Here are some phrases I'd like to be able to say, in all honesty, before I die.
"That's it, send out the ninjas!"
"So then I had to kill my way to the second floor."