simivin

Well, I've done the standard search to see if this topic had been specifically addressed before, but didn't see anything I thought related closely enough. So here is my scenario:

I've been dating my GF for going on 7 months and our relationship -- ignoring some certain, irrational insecurities of ours on both sides-- is great in basically every aspect. However, one sore spot for her is a friend of mine I'll call Sarah.

Sarah and I have been friends for about 7 years -- since junior year of HS -- and were great friends senior year. Over the years we considered dating, tried for a short period that didn't last, and always ended up missing each other (she had a BF, I had a GF, or either of us had cold feet). We never did more than just sleep together (never even really kissed) and we still stay talk often and I've even helped her work through some of her current relationship woes. She's one of the best friends I have and we've always been close, recovering our friendship even when we pissed each other off.

Now, my GF knows about Sarah, and knows about our friendship together -- the common mistake (that I have made, too) of asking too much/telling too much -- and is very sensitive to the whole situation. Last night, my friend Sarah drunk dialed me a couple times (she has done this before, even when I haven't been dating anyone else) and this got to my GF; then my SO was upset/unhappy and then when we talked later today, she got upset about it all again and ended the phone call pretty quickly.

My GF is suspicious that Sarah is making moves on me or that there's something there, even though I assure her that 1) I wouldn't do that and 2) Sarah wouldn't do that (having the friendship that we do, never having cheated, and being recently cheated on herself). In fact, Sarah and I have always respected each other's relationships. However, nothing I was saying was making much of a difference and I fear that my SO other thinks I'm defending Sarah's side over her own.

That's a concise version of the situation. I guess my questions boils down to: is there anything wrong with my actions? What is too far? Am I going too far being close friends with this girl? The most that would be in "dangerous" conversational territory is when we've talked about what could have been, the times we "missed" each other, how much we care for each other (as friends), and stuff like that -- but never talking about doing anything in the present. Sarah has been an important part of my life for 7 years, through many different experiences, and I value her friendship tremendously -- but that doesn't mean I'd rather be with her than my SO. Still, my GF is sensitive about my friend, even though she doesn't want to stop us from being friends.

So, am I doing something wrong here? Do I need to modify my actions/behaviors? I don't want to make my GF anxious and upset -- and I do try to reassure her -- but neither do I want to cut off a friendship (which she doesn't want me to do anyway). Thanks for you advice; greatly appreciated.

Sim