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aberkok · 10-14-2005, 01:39 AM

Hi there. Some of you have been following my journal entries and talking with me on chat and I'm really at the end of my rope. You see, I have two weeks left in my contract and I've spent everyone of the last several days feeling nothing but sadness, loneliness and anger. I need advice if you have it.

For those who don't know, I'm playing piano in a hotel jazz trio in Hong Kong. It's been a three month contract which has put me halfway across the world from my wife, who I miss very much and I think is probably half the reason I'm feeling this way. The other half of my emotions come from my bandmates who I'm not getting along with at all. They are a couple and to make a very long story short, they are very close minded. I know because I've made suggestions about the music which they've rejected time and again. But the main problem is that the bassist's anger management has made me extremely uncomfortable on the stage, and since the singer (and leader of our outfit) is his girlfriend, I don't feel as though I can properly air my grievances in confidentiality. They've also had several visible disagreements with each other on the stage and never apologized for it.

I can't stand talking to them in the set breaks so have recently begun to bring a book to read while I sit with them, but listening to their constant complaining makes it hard to read. They are the furthest people in the world from the type I would call friend.

Some of you have already offered very helpful advice, and I've taken it, but no matter how much city exploration I do during the day, I get back to the hotel around 5p.m. to make sure I'm ready and on time for the gig, and from this time until the gig starts I am a blubbering fool with tears streaming down my face, at once feeling lonely (it's hard to make friends when you don't speak the language) and furious at what my colleagues have put me through.

I feel like I've tried everything, and I really need someone to give me an idea to have at least one good day before the end of this run. I think this is the closest I've ever come to true depression.

One idea I got today was to compose a letter of grievance and give it to our agent, who I've found to be helpful. Even though an agent wouldn't care about whether I like them as people (or at least I don't expect so), I think he'd be very interested to know about their on stage arguments.

Please help me.

10-14-2005, 01:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
aberkok “Wrong is right.” Location: toronto	Sad & Angry, Need Advice Hi there. Some of you have been following my journal entries and talking with me on chat and I'm really at the end of my rope. You see, I have two weeks left in my contract and I've spent everyone of the last several days feeling nothing but sadness, loneliness and anger. I need advice if you have it. For those who don't know, I'm playing piano in a hotel jazz trio in Hong Kong. It's been a three month contract which has put me halfway across the world from my wife, who I miss very much and I think is probably half the reason I'm feeling this way. The other half of my emotions come from my bandmates who I'm not getting along with at all. They are a couple and to make a very long story short, they are very close minded. I know because I've made suggestions about the music which they've rejected time and again. But the main problem is that the bassist's anger management has made me extremely uncomfortable on the stage, and since the singer (and leader of our outfit) is his girlfriend, I don't feel as though I can properly air my grievances in confidentiality. They've also had several visible disagreements with each other on the stage and never apologized for it. I can't stand talking to them in the set breaks so have recently begun to bring a book to read while I sit with them, but listening to their constant complaining makes it hard to read. They are the furthest people in the world from the type I would call friend. Some of you have already offered very helpful advice, and I've taken it, but no matter how much city exploration I do during the day, I get back to the hotel around 5p.m. to make sure I'm ready and on time for the gig, and from this time until the gig starts I am a blubbering fool with tears streaming down my face, at once feeling lonely (it's hard to make friends when you don't speak the language) and furious at what my colleagues have put me through. I feel like I've tried everything, and I really need someone to give me an idea to have at least one good day before the end of this run. I think this is the closest I've ever come to true depression. One idea I got today was to compose a letter of grievance and give it to our agent, who I've found to be helpful. Even though an agent wouldn't care about whether I like them as people (or at least I don't expect so), I think he'd be very interested to know about their on stage arguments. Please help me. __________________ !check out my new blog! http://arkanamusic.wordpress.com Warden Gentiles: "It? Perfectly innocent. But I can see how, if our roles were reversed, I might have you beaten with a pillowcase full of batteries."