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Originally Posted by Kostya
I basically have bluffed and slacked my way through life up to this point, and am now terrified that my poor attitude will lead me to a deadend, but comfortable job where I will slowly decompose for the rest of my natural life. On the other hand, as much as I feel like I have the natural talents necessary to pursue more promising horizons, I don't want to have to work to get there.
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Kostya, we're in the same boat... it sucks. So far I managed to get into grad school and stay for a couple of years, but sometimes I really fear that I won't make it, that I'll have to surrender to a desk job where I will decompose, as you put it. Then again, sometimes I feel like academia itself is a form of very slow and painful decomposition...
I think procrastination comes from boredom. I still haven't found a place where I can really
thrive, a place where what I'm doing doesn't feel like work, even if I get paid for it. I think that the day I find a job where I
don't procrastinate, where I
want to get the work done early simply because I like it so much... that is where I will be fulfilled.
Maybe that's too idealistic, though. What percentage of people in the world genuinely love their jobs?... hmm. Maybe I just need to be happy with what's in front of me. Augh!
/end rambling