Jinn

What exactly is my problem? I'd liken it to having absolutely no self control, but I'm not sure thats the issue. Here we go:

So -- I've had two weeks to complete my assignment for my Design and Analysis of Algorithms homework, which is due on the same day that I have the first exam in that class (tommorow). Thursday, I have a test in my Linear Algebra class, and I haven't been in a week or so. I know I'll be able to cram and pull at least a B on the test, but thats not really the issue.

It's 9:30 PM where I am, so let me recount the last few hours.
Knowing that I had a test AND homework due tommorow, I knew that I should begin it as soon as I got out of class (4:30). I come home, eat a little food, and screw around on the internet until 5:30. I waste some more time, and come 6:00 I realize that my brain is just too tired to study right now. If I take a few hour nap I'll wake up refreshed and able to do my homework, right? Fast forward to 7:00, I've woken up and I'm ready to study. Grab a Mt. Dew and I'm ready to go.

Okay.. flash forward to 9:30 -- I've just finished playing video games, and I still haven't studied or done anything productive for that matter. I'll likely be up until almost midnight studying and doing homework, something that could have easily been avoided. The thing is, I'm usually very good at predicting the time it will take to do something, and I knew at 4:00 that I'd have more than enough time so I could afford to slack off. If something isn't IMMEDIATELY due, I won't even consider working on it. This Sunday, I had a full day that I could devoted to these things -- and I didn't, knowing I'd have plenty of time during the week.

To make matters worse, the two things I told myself and my girlfriend I WOULDN'T do this week, drink caffiene or masturbate -- I did both tonight. My girlfriend, assuming I had been studying all night, went and bought my ice cream -- hoping to surprise her studious boyfriend. Imagine her joy when I got to tell that not only did I waste 6 hours, I hadn't studied, I'd masturbated and I'd drank caffiene.

Is this just a lack of self-control? Is my procrastination a "bad" thing if I can still pull above average grades? In essense, "what the fuck is my deal?"

EDIT to add: If you were my girlfriend's position, would you feel upset at me for this deviation from my plan? I feel like I've hurt her unintentionally..

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hrandani

Heh. I guess the real question is why are you posting this instead of studying?

Edit: Masturbation! Caffiene! I am outraged, sir!

But seriously. It's one thing to blow off school. Everybody does it at some point if not always.

But if you promised your girlfriend something you had no intention of keeping, was it for your benefit or hers?

pig

Jinn,

How loaded / stressed are you, and any chance you're hitting any manner of burnout? Your other thread is 'sitting on top of the world, looking down on creation"...(yeah, i just threw in a carpenters reference, what's wrong with me?) - i've seen a lot of success + a load of load/stress + keeping that schedule for a long time -> burn.

or it could just be typical college procrastination. as for the caffeine + 'lil noggin floggin, don't ask me. sounds like a whole different can of worms.

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abaya

Jinn, I've been doing the exact same thing you're talking about for all of my academic life... and seeing as I'm in my 3rd year of grad school, that's a looooooooong-established pattern for me!

Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with people like us. I don't go around promising my boyfriend that I won't masturbate or drink caffeine (why did you do that, by the way?), but I am not very self-disciplined in all the ways that I imagined myself being, as a grown-up. This depresses me, often. At the age of 26 I'd hoped to shake these things off, but jesus, sometimes I wonder if I should really be in this field at all. I don't function well without structure, and I'm very bad about imposing it on myself... the latter is crucial to success in grad school.

So my advice to you is to scrape your way through college, and find yourself a nice, structured job where you are given specific tasks and deadlines every day. If I was smart, maybe I'd do the same... hmm.

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for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
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Kostya

I wouldn't say it was lack of self control myself. As a habitual procrastinator, I empathise with you position, but I hasten to point out that you, unlike many people are able to muster the self control required to cram massive amounts of work into short periods of time. That being said, in general this is less about self control as it is about inevitable necessity. I'm procrastinating right now. I've had an entire year to write my thesis, but I started only the other day and have less than three weeks to go.

However, as much as I'm pretty sure I will be able to get my work done in time, I have to say I myself have been becoming increasingly concerned about my procrastinatory tendencies of late. The reasons are twofold. Firstly, I feel like I've never really produced my best work at University, I handed in essays and reviews I knew were half arsed and thrown together at the last minute. At the time I was happy to accept decent marks for minimal work, but in retrospect I feel like I squandered a lot of potential during my undergraduate degree. Secondly, I feel like I've really got no right to enter into the real world with such terrible work ethic. I basically have bluffed and slacked my way through life up to this point, and am now terrified that my poor attitude will lead me to a deadend, but comfortable job where I will slowly decompose for the rest of my natural life. On the other hand, as much as I feel like I have the natural talents necessary to pursue more promising horizons, I don't want to have to work to get there.

Two things: Expect to be masterbating a lot more now.

I've been drinking so much caffeine, but now I see the missing element in my time wasting schedule!

abaya

Kostya, we're in the same boat... it sucks. So far I managed to get into grad school and stay for a couple of years, but sometimes I really fear that I won't make it, that I'll have to surrender to a desk job where I will decompose, as you put it. Then again, sometimes I feel like academia itself is a form of very slow and painful decomposition...

I think procrastination comes from boredom. I still haven't found a place where I can really thrive, a place where what I'm doing doesn't feel like work, even if I get paid for it. I think that the day I find a job where I don't procrastinate, where I want to get the work done early simply because I like it so much... that is where I will be fulfilled.

Maybe that's too idealistic, though. What percentage of people in the world genuinely love their jobs?... hmm. Maybe I just need to be happy with what's in front of me. Augh!

/end rambling

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for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Sweetpea

Sounds like you've got burn out to some extent. Or rather, you don't have allot of motivation right now.... which doesn't surprise me considering your other post and the fact that you're at a crossroads on allot of things, including your major...

When you have a career, you won't be like this, trust me... I.e. you will think to yourself "If i don't get off my ass and get my work done, i won't get paid, won't be able to pay my bills or eat etc... That is all the incentive you'll need

On a diff. note: Why on Earth can't you masturbate?? That is a normal and healthy thing, not to mention a stress reliever for men and women... so i'm just curious why she would ask you not to and why you feel like you 'hurt' her by doing something so normal? Creating such negative or limiting attitudes around sex/masturbation isn't the best thing for a relationship... because... you've gone and acted like a normal human being and feel somehow guilty...

Good luck

Sweetpea

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analog

I need a sense of urgency to get things done. While it often appears as a fault of proscrastination, I need that quickened pace to really make me get going. That's why I work best in fast-paced working environments, I work like a crazy person, my adrenaline is limitless. I mean, if i feel like there's time to spare, i'd rather do soemthing else. Then, when it comes time that i HAVE to do the work, i'm much more engaged about the learning/work/whatever, and i get more done, more efficiently, and i retain more of the knowledge.

And what the hell is with caffeine and masterbating? Enjoy them while you can, dude. There's nothing wrong with caffeine, like anything, in appropriate moderation.

There is, however, no moderation in masturbation. You fire off some knuckle children as often as you please, assuming it won't interfere with sexual matters with your SO.

shesus

There is a lot of good advice here. I will throw in my 2 cents and what caught my eye the most was the feeling of helplessness in the op and Abaya's part:
I am also a procrastinator and a slacker. However, I'm not as bad I used to be and I will tell you what worked for me. I was depressed for many years and went to therapy. One of the reasons I was depressed was because of lack of motivation, which was mostly caused by depression, but not entirely. My therapist told me that there are 2 types of people...those who have motivation and those who don't. I happened to fall in the second group and was beating myself up over it. However, once I accepted that it is ok to be like that and it is part of my personality, it subsided a bit. I think that I was so busy fighting it that it was always there. Once I accepted it, it wasn't a focus and I had a little more motivation. I wish you good luck and don't beat yourself up over it. Obviously, you are not alone.

As for promising not to maturbate and not to drink caffiene, that is bizarre to me. I can see the caffiene thing, health and all, but masturbating?!? That sounds like another topic that more information is needed on.

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Charlatan

Interesting that all who post her are "slackers and procrastinators". I think we have touched on the true meaning of "what is the TFP".

We are all here because we are all heavy into procrastination. I know it's like a very large monkey on my back some days.

TFP: Home of Procrastination.

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Pragma

I tend to do the same thing, Jinn. I've got massive amounts of homework (in my 5th year, planning on graduating in May, so I've got lots of work and everything is always rush, rush, rush). As a result, this weekend I spent 15 hours playing Ninja Gaiden while I had several away messages up posted saying things like "Studying" or "Homework, do not disturb." Why? Because my assignments aren't due until Thursday and my network security midterm isn't until next week.

I tend to have a lot of trouble focusing myself on getting stuff done ahead of schedule when it won't stress me off, instead of waiting until (like my homework due tomorrow) the night before and then getting frustrated when I spend 5 hours on it.

I don't think there's an easy solution, except to remove all temptation. Unfortunately, seeing as how most of my homework involves a computer, I can always find ways to distract myself. The console games, I suppose that I could get my girlfriend to take the consoles and I wouldn't be distracted that way, but don't ever bring up that idea to her, because I'd never let her do it

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Kostya

Absolutely! I've spent a lot of time considering just how ridiculous my thesis sounds when separated from the whole academic community in which it is being produced. It's a lot harder to get excited about the theoretical dimensions of Southeast Asian piracy when you realise the theory is just, well theory...

Also, as much as I got into this whole gambit on the understanding that I would one day end up as some kind of early modern scholar/man of letters in the style of say Jonathan Swift or Daniel Defoe, and not just some guy who knows more about one tiny little piece of history than anyone else...

How disappointing it has been to discover that expertise is what makes you an academic, not knowledge or intelligence. Do I really want to commodify one of the few sources of genuine and reliable pleasure in my life?

Perhaps you could be a mind reader, because this is exactly the kind of problem I have. Hence, this year I have applied myself studiously to a whole bunch of projects, ranging from sculptures to film reviews which have nothing to do with my formal studies, but which I found personally compelling. I don't think my thesis is important, and the only motivation I have to finish it are firstly stubborn pride to prove to the people who say you can't write 25000 words in three weeks wrong, and because I've already invested a fair amount of energy to have all my previous assessment in and I'd rather it wasn't in vain...

Hell, I should get back to work...

Sage

You know, I was a "procrastinator" for many years until I up and realized that I wasn't procrastinating, I was just not that interested in some things.

The trick to happiness in life is not to just careen from high school to college to grad school to career, but to take time in there to evaluate yourself and what you're doing. I think that's one of the main reasons why people who do study abroad always seem to come back with a renewed sense of purpose- they've stepped out of their "comfort zone" and it inspired them.

I've been out of college since May, and I haven't done a damn thing. For about two months, this bothered me to no end- I'm out of school, why don't I have a career yet? Why do I not want to do anything in particular? What's wrong with me?? However, after these two months passed I realized that I'm happy just floating along for a while- I don't have to get a job that I don't want, I don't have to do anything that I don't want. This time (May to now) is extremely important to my devlopment as a person as I have had time to recover from my schooling-induced burn out. I am now working on starting my own buisness, something I definitely would not have done if I had gotten a mediocre job straight out of college.

Now, I know that I am in a unique position- people need money and jobs provide that! However, there are a billion options for what to do out of college that don't involve getting a sucky job. Start with your college's career center and go from there- they helped me a lot when I wanted to get the ball rolling on doing something. As a result, I now have an intrinsic motiviation when it comes to getting a job, so I'm working on creating the perfect job for me!

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Prince

...why did you promise your girlfriend that you would not masturbate?

This is what confuses me the most.

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Pip

Kostya, that sounds more like an extended version of the "scrubbing the toilet instead of studying for the exam"-syndrome. It's a more energetic version of procrastination, where you clean the house and bake cookies rather than sit on your ass and play videogames. But it's still procrastination.

ooh_shesus said a good thing about accepting yourself as a procrastinator. The trick is to find a balance between embracing your procrastination and still maintain enough "shame" to actually get things done.

I'm a procrastinator too. The only times I get things done are either at the last minute or as soon as I get the assignment. The latter happens very seldom though. The few times I've actually been able to do the whole process with brainstorming and sorting and structuring and first draft and critical review and second draft shebang kind of thing it has been incredibly awarding and I've told myself I must do this again. But you know how it goes... Still, I usually am able to enjoy myself when I finally sit down and do the assignment. If you find no joy in your work at all, that's when you really should start worrying.

Poppinjay

That has me puzzled too.

I assumed this had something to do with babymaking, because a guy needs about 24 hours to be up to a full count. However, the caffeine thing negates that. Caffeine is good for boys, bad for girls who are trying to conceive.

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pig

yeah, well on this note - an ex of mine didn't like it because she didn't think I was as rock hard after I'd made a pre-emptive attack, so to speak. seemed to think I was being selfish.

as to the convo on procrastination, I think there are two distinct threads going here.

One is for the people that are still in school. Having been there, I can honestly say that there is a certain amount of "this isn't the real world" going on. You're in an environment, perhaps particularly in graduate school, where you are encouraged to think that not only everyone around you in your program, but everyone in general - is not only constantly thinking of new ways to do more things more effeciently, but that they also glide through their studies, being driven to study whatever fleck of fly shit they are focussed on, tirelessly day in and day out. Quick note:

They are not. They are you. They are also nervous and undecided and they feel as though they aren't smart enough or good enough either. They don't know what they're doing with their lives. As I heard once, a Ph.D. is someone who knows everything about nothing.

Another quick note: as Sage bordered on saying: you are, by default, someone else's bitch when you are in school. You are more or less told what to work on, what your more-or-less ill-defined objectives are, you are underpaid for too much work, etc. It's great for the school and the prof. You are in a position where you hold most of the responsibility with very little of the ultimate authority. That condition, in and of itself, can lead one to feel demotivated, as it is in-a-sense "damned if you do, damned if you don't." Maybe it's just me? I find once you're in the real world, you have freedom, if you choose it (at least if you're in a 1st world country, etc) to really go off the beaten path a bit, form your own goals...and you have those credentials.

That said, I've found that the best solution to reduce that sense of aimless anxiety is the Making of The List. Try making a list. Make a rough schedule. Remember that you can always revise your list, but at least you have some direction.

I know some people work better at the last second, but I have found that 1. depending on the nature of the work, and 2. how many things you are simultaneously working on, the quality of the work always suffers. If the quality doesn't matter so much to you, or it's repetitive drone work, probably doesn't matter. If it's creativity, I think it does.

I think the best thing you can do for yourself is 1. Give yourself a break. you're only human, and you're not a work machine. 2. After giving yourself a break, make that list. 3. Repeat as often as necessary.

/at least that's the way I see it.

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SecretMethod70

Perhaps a fear of success?

I do the same thing. All the time.

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Le temps détruit tout

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skier

I think we procrastinate because of boredom. It's not that what needs to get done isn't important, it's that it's just not stimulating enough. TV, Video games, Internet, Music, etc. Are high stimulation, low effort tasks. While these tasks are really exciting, you don't have to think hard/at all when doing them.

Alpha state

Alpha state is relaxing, enjoyable, addicting, fun. Staying at a Beta wave level is hard, it takes effort- if what you're doing isn't active or interesting enough, it's much more difficult to stay on that task. When we come to the point where something NEEDS to get done, I think stress and pressure forces that need to try to finish before the point of no return.

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guthmund

Gee, giving up masturbating and caffiene... Do you smoke? Maybe next time you could you could try to give up all three and go for the 'drive-you-crazy' trifecta.

It seems, from what I've read from others here, that there is nothing 'wrong' with you.

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Jinn

Well, time for an update:

It's wasn't so much a promise as her saying "you should not do these things for a while" and me saying okay. I didn't expect it to be a set-in-stone proposition, but I still felt guilty.

As for the procrastination, ya'll have sparked a question in my mind..

Would those of you who procrastinate consider yourself to be of above-average intelligence? There have been a lot of studies about the most intelligent (IQ) people having a distaste for authority because they realized at a young age that they knew more than the 'authority' -- usually a teacher. I wonder if procastination develops out of a need to prove that you can get it done "on your own time..?" This time, like most times, I felt very good about having smashed three weeks of lesson into one night of studying (I did very well on the test today) and likely beating many of my peers.

You guys also nailed it on the head with this one, and it is most of the reason for my previous post on a similar manner -- I'm bored.

This is also a good point-- perhaps I'm dwelling too much on the fact that procrastination is "bad" as all my instructors have been quick to point out, and should focus more on it being a very effective way for me to accomplish things.

Finally -- the question of the hour:

Let's just say that little Kai the pirate ship doesn't always seem willing to sail the open seas with its' flag at full mast. My theory is that caffiene, being a sympathetic nervous system "drug" ...doesn't help this situation. Nor does masturbating.. I've reached the end of my Ocean at this point..

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Jinn

Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself....

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Kostya

Well, there's a little of that. I've certainly found massive motivation in evasion of study, and often when the heat is on I find that I have a really clean room etc. However, I really do work at things I am interested in, on holidays even I was in the library studying the film techniques of early twentieth century Japan. I just never like anything for long enough to make it into an academic exercise. Plus, when you make it an assessment item and slap a deadline on it, the fun kinda dries up.

Pragma

As an update to my procrastination situation, when I got home from class yesterday at 7, I watched The Negotiator and ate dinner. Then around 10, I started doing my homework - didn't finish until 3AM. And now it's off to class to turn it in. I really should have started earlier, I hate staying up late when I have an early class. However, the pressure of "oh god, I want to go to sleep, but I have to get this done" forced me to concentrate a lot - and I think I did a good job.

Sometimes, I really do wish I could start stuff earlier.

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Jinn

.. an update on MY procrastination, for any bored and/or curious..

I checked my grade on the website-- 98 fucking percent!! On Tuesday night I stayed up until 2:30 and got the homework and the test studying done. Today is my Linear Algebra test, and I studied from 6 pm to 5 am this morning -- we'll see how well I do.. after not having gone to class in a few weeks..

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Jinn

Flash forward almost exactly two months: FINALS WEEK. Supposed to study all weekend for Linear Algebra (since I've not gone to class lately).. finish the study guide for another final, and complete my take home final for another class.

It's Sunday night (monday morning -- 3 AM) and I haven't gone to bed yet. Worse yet, I did absolutely nothing as far as homework is concerned. I justified it in having all day tommorow to do it, but..

FUCKIN PROCRASTINATION!!

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taboo

masterbating relieves stress and clears your mind..hell, it helps!!

Zephyr66

Holy shit, I think Charlie's on to something.

I'm another procrastinator and i know what you're talking about, you realise you need to do something, but it's like scaling a brick wall to do so.

P.S. congrats on the 98, even though I'm a little late, and good luck on your Linear Algebra

Gustoferson

A couple semesters ago I was in the same position of waiting till the last possible minute (quite literally a lot of times with all nighters) yet still getting great grades. In fact, dispite procrastinating just as much if not more than previous semesters and having a job in college for the first time, i managed the best GPA of my college career. It felt like I was on top of the world.

The problem is, it also made me over-confident that I could continue to get away with it. The next semester things started to fall off pretty dramatically in terms of having to turn in multiple big assignments late and other procrastination-related problems. I honestly wanted to get everything done on time but it inexplicably (in my mind) just never happened. Then finally this semester the shit hit the fan and full-fledged burnout hit and I've managed to back myself into a hell of a hole here.

The point is, I know I was no different a person this semester than the semester I had good grades, yet the way I worked left me a very, very small margin of error. The danger is if the needle barely shifts to the other side of not getting good grades, you can find yourself in a tough place in a hurry with no clue how you got there.

Or maybe not, but that's at least how it happened with me.

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Mantus

Well to start things off I think we've all realized by now that this is totally frickin' normal.
And yes Charlatan I think that TFP and any internet medium is a great way to "kill" time and it's one of the reasons we come here.


JinnKai,

It sounds like when it comes to school work you are a person who is motivated by the stick rather then the carrot. I think our school systems breed this kind of idiosyncracy. People like that tend to move away from the negative. As such they don't move towards goals but rather from the concequences of not accomplishing the goal.

People like that also tend to be detail oriented.

Detail people people break down task into manageble sequential chunks. They have a tendancy to dive right into a task without looking at the impact of those steps on the final goal as a result they have trouble organizing themselves and setting priorities. Spending too much or too little time and effort on certain parts of a project is a common symptom.
Motivation is often lost because the ultimate goal is often buried in details

Big picture people tend to focus on large concepts rather then individual steps. They can see the forest but get overwhelmed by the mass of trees. They tend to do only as much as necessary. Big picture people can get paralyzed by having to break up a project into smaller tasks. Accomplishing goals that require many steps becomes tedeous for such people and they may lose intrest in the project as a whole.

All can obviously change depending on your task. You may be a Big Picture person when it comes to video games where you don't mind drudging though hours of booring leveling just to reach you next goal. Creative tasks often requires one to see the big picture as well.

Also you seem to be stuck in a negative re-enforcement loop of your actions. The more you think about how much of a procrastinator you are the more you believe this fact. Eventually you will end up thinking that you simply don't have any power over your tendencies.

Of cousre it's more complicated then that and only you can figure out exactly what's happening in your head.

What has worked for me:

- Getting a day planner. I know it sounds dorky but it really helps.
- Drawing out detailed plans on all major projects. Starting from the big concept, going in. This helps to keep you organized and focused.
- Spending time reflecting on future goals. Connect yourself in the pressent with how you see yourself in the future. Try to visualize the steps you take to get there. Everytime you finish a step reflect on how you are closer to the final goal.

I'ts more complicated then that obviously. But that's the start.

match000

What Mantus said makes a lot of sense.

I too am a detail oriented person. You can tell just by looking at what threads I started and what I talked about

Regarding the day task calendar planner, it helps alot. If you are a person who is often in front of their computer like me, an electronic one is the best.

Not just one where you have to click on the program to remind yourself, but one that is in-your-face, thats overlayed over your desktop, so that those objectives you set always come straight into your face.

The program I use is called "Active Desktop Calendar". Try googling it. Its not free, but there are always ways around that...

Toaster126

I used to think I was a procrastinator until I realized I simply don't care about a lot of things. Now I'm not sure if that word correctly defines my actions - I have a whole lot of self-disipline and can stick with tasks, yet I can't get projects done in a fashion that doesn't drive me insane.

It wouldn't surprise me that traits like intelligence and contempt of authority would be coorelated to procrastination.

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poundpuppy34

sigh i am going through this right now

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Cynthetiq

procrastination is SLOTH in 5 syllables.

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