Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Thanksgiving Guest List

Rodney · 10-11-2005, 12:50 PM

I think alliNYC and ShaniFaye have it right: by holding this affair, you're taking on the responsibility for managing a situation that is a) uncomfortable, and caused by a weird relationship between your dad and an _estranged_ inlaw, and b) not your fault in any way.

I know you want to start some kind of tradition. But if having Thanksgiving this year means tiptoing around a 2000 pound elephant in the living room that nobody wants to admit is there, take it easy on yourself and tell everybody that you're just not up for it this year. Let them make their own plans.

Basically, what you're signing up for is making a currently dysfunctional family dynamic _look_ functional for an evening. Is that fun? Is it true? Do you want to take the lead for sorting everything out in advance _when none of the major players is willing to do that themselves?_ What kind of an evening is that going to be?

No. Lay back and let it happen without you this year. Given another year, SIL will probably burn your dad like she's burned everybody else, and he'll come back to his senses. Hopefully.

10-11-2005, 12:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	I think alliNYC and ShaniFaye have it right: by holding this affair, you're taking on the responsibility for managing a situation that is a) uncomfortable, and caused by a weird relationship between your dad and an _estranged_ inlaw, and b) not your fault in any way. I know you want to start some kind of tradition. But if having Thanksgiving this year means tiptoing around a 2000 pound elephant in the living room that nobody wants to admit is there, take it easy on yourself and tell everybody that you're just not up for it this year. Let them make their own plans. Basically, what you're signing up for is making a currently dysfunctional family dynamic _look_ functional for an evening. Is that fun? Is it true? Do you want to take the lead for sorting everything out in advance _when none of the major players is willing to do that themselves?_ What kind of an evening is that going to be? No. Lay back and let it happen without you this year. Given another year, SIL will probably burn your dad like she's burned everybody else, and he'll come back to his senses. Hopefully. Last edited by Rodney; 10-11-2005 at 02:33 PM..