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It sounds like you're a bit overprotective of your lady friend. If you trust her, then her meeting up with this man shouldn't be too much of a problem, in general. The two of them may have a desire to be friends, and if the relationship is only one of friendship, then it may be worth the anxiety to let "Stef" develop a friendship with the guy.
If I knew that my love was going to freak out about me meeting a male friend, but I really wanted to meet up with this guy, then I wouldn't tell him if I didn't expect him to be there. It's not honest, but what else can one do in this situation?
On the other hand, Shani is right. When you did show up for the screening, your girlfriend should have done more to include you in the discussion and have you sit with her. But, if you were as visably angry as you say you were, then perhaps she just didn't want to cause a scene in public at the release of her show.
Both of you could have acted more maturely. She's your girlfriend. You should trust her and try to accept that she's friends with this man that you "have nothing but hate for him." and she should try to minimalize the reasons for you to be jealous of this man.
Don't worry about it too much, and try to vent the anger. Being furious when the two of you finally sit down to talk about this will make the entire thing worse for both of you.
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