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I'm not always a whiz at this either, but I'd say just ease off and let the woman talk more. In my experience, women (some men, too, but a lot of women) work out problems or issues "out loud." Men often do it inside their own heads, women often do it while in the act of talking to others. Don't try to hurry the conversation along to a conclusion; she's working on it herself and using you as a sounding board. If you impose an answer on her abruptly and say "that's it," you're derailing the process.
It's kind of like working on a math problem and having somebody come up, grab the pencil and write the answer for you down on your sheet of paper. It's abrupt and rude; the answer might be wrong; and even if it's right, it would have been better if you'd had the chance to work it out yourself; you'd have learned something.
So hang back, let her talk. Pay attention not only to what she's saying but to her emotional state, which is just as meaningful for figuring out an appropriate response. Don't try to jump straight to the conclusion, but feel free to add comments about points she makes along the way (Her: "I know she hates my guts now..." You: "Don't be so sure about that...").
Maybe you're not the kind of guy that likes a long conversation about feelings, or relates to it. If so, that's fine, that's you; but remember that other people do. If some woman is pouring out her problems to you and you can't relate, just show your support: "Look, I'm kind of slow on figuring out feelings, but you sound really broken up and I'll do anything I can to help."
That's my two cents. All women are hereby empowered to tell me that I'm full of it.
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