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KellyC · 10-02-2005, 03:35 PM

This may be a bit naive of me to ask, but I would like to know if being sensitive, more sympathetic is a natural trait of a person or it can be taught to a person. If it is the latter, how would one go about learning it?

The reason I ask is because I have a hard time sympathizing people, while I understand and see the predictament some people are in, I cannot for the life of me go, "awww, I know how you feel" and relate to people in an emotional way. This is frustrating for me when I talk to female friends and I can't relate to them. They would start talking about something and begin opening up to me, but as soon as I show signs that I don't understand them, they withdraw immediately and dismiss the whole thing with, "never mind, forget it." I think it's understandable that they'd do this; I learned that women like to be understood, but it nevertheless, pisses me off because here I am ready to talk and give 100% of my attention to her/them and I'm shut off from her/them. And I also have a short fuse so sometime I would say, "why do girls do this? Keep on being open/close, open/close," right after she/they withdraw, which just make things worse, as it turns out.

I'm also very blunt and straightforward sometime, I say what I think and I get straight to the point. Do you think this may have contribute to my problem? I figure that I need to do something about this if I want to have a deep conversation with my lady friends, and it's also for self-improvement. So advice? Pointers? Tips?

Ooooo, would the mods kindly edit the "of" to "or" in the title for me? Thanks.

10-02-2005, 03:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	Being sensitive, nature or nurture? This may be a bit naive of me to ask, but I would like to know if being sensitive, more sympathetic is a natural trait of a person or it can be taught to a person. If it is the latter, how would one go about learning it? The reason I ask is because I have a hard time sympathizing people, while I understand and see the predictament some people are in, I cannot for the life of me go, "awww, I know how you feel" and relate to people in an emotional way. This is frustrating for me when I talk to female friends and I can't relate to them. They would start talking about something and begin opening up to me, but as soon as I show signs that I don't understand them, they withdraw immediately and dismiss the whole thing with, "never mind, forget it." I think it's understandable that they'd do this; I learned that women like to be understood, but it nevertheless, pisses me off because here I am ready to talk and give 100% of my attention to her/them and I'm shut off from her/them. And I also have a short fuse so sometime I would say, "why do girls do this? Keep on being open/close, open/close," right after she/they withdraw, which just make things worse, as it turns out. I'm also very blunt and straightforward sometime, I say what I think and I get straight to the point. Do you think this may have contribute to my problem? I figure that I need to do something about this if I want to have a deep conversation with my lady friends, and it's also for self-improvement. So advice? Pointers? Tips? Ooooo, would the mods kindly edit the "of" to "or" in the title for me? Thanks. __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens. Last edited by lurkette; 10-03-2005 at 05:41 AM..