mattevil

Ok this seemed like the best place to ask since I need some multiple perspectives on this one and this community has some people that are a lot more experienced and wiser than me.

I've been friends with this girl for over a year now but this year we've been especially close going to the movies, staying out together till about 5 in the morning on the weekends, going for runs, etc.
The past two weeks however I've only talked with her on the phone because we've both been sick and this past week I was just really busy with school.

Well I saw her this Friday and we were both excited to see each other after being away from each other. We hung out like usual, hit a bar and even danced a little. As I walked her back to her apartment however she tells me that she has a boyfriend (this has happened somewhere in the last week evidently). Worse yet she says I should meet him because she trusts my advice and wanted to see if I saw any "red flags"(I declined and said I'd be biased against the guy since I've known her for so long and be protective of her, which is partly true).

I felt shattered, I thought I was a just close friend with this girl but evidently I had deeper feelings than I thought and didn't even really know it until now. The worse part is I'm starting to wonder if she got into this relationship out of convenience since she's been having family problems and I just wasn't there and he happened to be. We even got into a little squabble on Friday before I knew any of this about not calling each other that much in the last 2 weeks. I think she knows now that this is bothering me too now just because of the way she looked at me after she saw how I reacted to this news (I was in shock and lost my joking personality real quick). I 'm wondering if during all this time we've been close she's been waiting for me to make a move and just finally gave up thinking I just wanted to be friends or something (honestly I didn't know if i wanted to be friends or more with her at this time but was starting to debate it as we spent more time together). I’m also wondering if she's not all that into this relationship based on things she's told me and the fact that we hung out on Friday (homecoming game night) alone together. Then again I might be just be too infatuated to see that maybe all she wanted out of me was a friend.

I'm telling you guys I'm just at a loss right now on how to handle this situation and it's not helping that I haven't gotten much sleep so I'm overly emotional and stressed out right now (read: might not be capable of rational thought at this time). Should I just drop contact with this girl, count it as just a lost opportunity, and just try to look around at other women? I feel if I see her anymore especially if it's with this guy I'm just going to get even more depressed and stressed out. I'm having a hard time considering that option though since this girl's probably my best friend. I mean shit I’d love for me to just be happy for her but it doesn't seem possible right now especially if she came to me for advice about it. Should I just hope this blows over in a few weeks (wanting her) and try to become her friend again after that or is that a lost cause right now with the feelings I have for her now? I'm even wondering if I should just talk to her face to face or call her (don't know what's better for this) and just tell her how I feel but I'm worried if I do that I could possibly be flushing a really great friendship down the toilet. I mean I don't know how long this is going to last, it could be two weeks or two years, should I be proactive or wait and see if it doesn't work out and tell her then. I'm frightened though if I wait it'll just be my luck and they'll be together for months.

Anyways I just need to hear from somebody on what to do.I'm feeling I'm going to have to face this real soon whether I like it or not because I just can't keep avoiding her for the rest of the year(and wouldn't want to). I'm hoping somebody here's gone through this before (I imagine many have but this is a first time for me). Oh yeah sorry for the windy post but it was a little therapeutic to just get it off my chest.