Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

pje120 · 09-29-2005, 02:56 AM

Hi Dungeon_Shade:

Reading through your post shows me a lot of experiences that don't really have any relevance to the topic, talking to girls. I understand that it doesn't look like this to you, otherwise you wouldn't have go to the trouble to write them all out.

What will help you now is to read through your post and do some self-analysis. Obviously these experiences are somehow related to your shyness: you know this, or why would you have opened yourself up by explaining them? So analyse them, even if it is uncomfortable, and remember that you will only benefit from this as far as you are honest to yourself.

I mean, look at the stuff you wrote about. Experiences when you were 12?! Girls are entirely different from when they are 12, you are totally different, and you look totally different. So where is the relevance of these situations? Even more obviously irrelevant is that your house burnt down. What does this have to do with girls? I am not saying you shouldn't have described them, or that they didn't affect you. They did, obviously, but the point is they shouldn't have. They are suppressed memories that you haven't learnt from. I know they are suppressed, otherwise you wouldn't have felt you were "getting it off your chest". But by suppressing them doesn't stop them from affecting your thinking, so you need to bring them out.

You are at one point, where these experiences have affected you, and you want to be somewhere else, where the experiences do not restrict you. But the only way you are going to get from here to there is by going back over the experiences and learning the good and rejecting and forgetting the rest. This is a hard thing to do if you are understanding what I am saying. You've already done part of the way by writing it all down. You said you felt better from just doing this, because you're part of the way. Now you just need to continue to confront the experiences with honesty. Honesty is the most important thing. It is absolutely necessary.

This is the solution. You mentioned seeing a psychiatrist. You can, if you want, and they will walk you through this if you allow them. Therapy is not possible through an internet forum. Although through instant messaging it's possible, it's still MUCH easier for the psychiatrist face to face with someone. It is not necessary if you understood the method I have described, you can do it by yourself.

09-29-2005, 02:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
pje120 Upright	Hi Dungeon_Shade: Reading through your post shows me a lot of experiences that don't really have any relevance to the topic, talking to girls. I understand that it doesn't look like this to you, otherwise you wouldn't have go to the trouble to write them all out. What will help you now is to read through your post and do some self-analysis. Obviously these experiences are somehow related to your shyness: you know this, or why would you have opened yourself up by explaining them? So analyse them, even if it is uncomfortable, and remember that you will only benefit from this as far as you are honest to yourself. I mean, look at the stuff you wrote about. Experiences when you were 12?! Girls are entirely different from when they are 12, you are totally different, and you look totally different. So where is the relevance of these situations? Even more obviously irrelevant is that your house burnt down. What does this have to do with girls? I am not saying you shouldn't have described them, or that they didn't affect you. They did, obviously, but the point is they shouldn't have. They are suppressed memories that you haven't learnt from. I know they are suppressed, otherwise you wouldn't have felt you were "getting it off your chest". But by suppressing them doesn't stop them from affecting your thinking, so you need to bring them out. You are at one point, where these experiences have affected you, and you want to be somewhere else, where the experiences do not restrict you. But the only way you are going to get from here to there is by going back over the experiences and learning the good and rejecting and forgetting the rest. This is a hard thing to do if you are understanding what I am saying. You've already done part of the way by writing it all down. You said you felt better from just doing this, because you're part of the way. Now you just need to continue to confront the experiences with honesty. Honesty is the most important thing. It is absolutely necessary. This is the solution. You mentioned seeing a psychiatrist. You can, if you want, and they will walk you through this if you allow them. Therapy is not possible through an internet forum. Although through instant messaging it's possible, it's still MUCH easier for the psychiatrist face to face with someone. It is not necessary if you understood the method I have described, you can do it by yourself.