Stompy

I've been seeing someone, we'll call her J, for the past 4 months, but we recently split up about 2 weeks ago. The reason we split up: she thought I didn't care about her.

When I had first started talking to her, I was also talking to this other girl, we'll call her M. Not dating either one... simply talking. You know, the stages before you actually begin to date someone.

M and I ultimately decided to just be friends. We clicked, but not well enough for a relationship. So I started seeing J more and more. Naturally the more time you spend with someone, the more you get to know them, and if things click, they take off from there.

Well, J would feel threatened by M. J and I would get into small arguments. "The only reason you're with me is because she didn't want to be more than friends with you." Simply not true, but under the given circumstances... I could see how someone who is insecure would feel that way. So I ultimately stopped talking to M (we just naturally kinda grew apart and didn't talk as much).

J and I started dating, then finally became a couple. During that time, the smallest thing would set her off.

For example, one night I became bogged down with work and realized I would need to spend the next 3 days doing nothing but work. At the same time, J was busy, working a lot. She said to me, "I dunno if we're gonna be spending much time over the next few days, I'm gonna be incredibly busy," to which I replied, "well, as much as that sucks, that kinda works out because I'm bogged down."

That ultimately turned into a fight. "You dont even care if you see me or not." Very ridiculous. Now, I have a very low tolerance for trivial fights.. so after she kept on with me defending myself, I'd finally snap: "Look, enough already. You're being fuckin stupid. All I said was 'it works out. I'm busy anyway'."

Things went on like this for a while, but when things were good... they were very good. Any time something small would set her off, I'd have to defend myself because, in my eyes, I didn't really do anything wrong. That turned into, "well you're just always trying to be right."

The more it happened, the shorter my patience and tolerance for it became. Ultimately she called things off saying, "I'm fed up with how you treat me."

Granted, I did and said some things (ie 'enough already, you're being fuckin stupid') that probably weren't the smartest.. but everyone has their boiling point. After our split up, I kinda realized that maybe I had done or said some things that didn't exactly help our situation.

I came to terms with the fact that things just wouldn't work out, but this past sunday she tells me that she misses me and that she still has feelings for me.. and that she needs time to sort stuff out.

So the past few days were okay, until last night... I was headed out the door when she called. "Hey, I'm gonna stop by real quick to get your opinion on this dress I just got." I said, "ok, no prob. I'm headed out right now, but I'll only be gone 5-10 minutes." She got upset and said, "Forget it, I'll just go home then."

I talked to her later that night and she said, "it just goes to show I'm not a priority in your life.." Normally I'd be livid at this point because of how utterly stupid it is, but I calmly say, "Why, because I was headed out?" She says, "You couldn't even give me 5 minutes of your time.. I never ask things from you, you know this."

I'm at the point right now where I realize this is kinda hopeless. Someone I care about has convinced herself that I don't care (which led to our breakup) and with what happened last night.. still believes those things.

I know I'm in a bad situation with all of this. It's fucking with me... to have someone you care about do all of this.

What the hell drives someone to be like this, and what am I supposed to do?

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I love lamp.