Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - I need self-image help.

raeanna74 · 09-25-2005, 07:02 AM

I've always been pretty happy with my body so long as I was healthy. But now - I'm dealing with a lot of changes. I don't hate it and I wouldn't consider plastic surgery or anything for a while at least to see what I can do with it myself. YET ...
In the past year - or rather 9 months I've had 3 surgeries resulting in 5 scars. One of which you can't see because of the most recent surgery. I had two hernias repaired last week Wednesday. One was in my belly button. I considered posting a picture of it here because it's difficult to describe but I think not. The first time I saw it after I took the bandages off I had to lie down or I would have passed out and then when that feeling was gone I was crying. I know crying over a belly button may sound obsurd but I can't help it. I am EXTREMELY emotional right now (just ask hubby - I was trying not to cry in the toothpaste isle) and the sight of what used to be a belly button is terribly upsetting. the sides are drawn together so completely that the scabs have fused the skin over the original belly button. There was a cut through the middle so the sides are fused to that as well. At the top there is a good portion of skin that was stretched during pregnancy, NOT drawn together and so it's sagging in a flap of skin over the top of this whole mess. I can't believe the Dr would have done this so badly. The other scars/incisions are smooth straight lines with only small red slightly raised areas on the ones that are scars. This is so ugly and messed up. I don't see how there is anything I can do about it and I don't see how it can look even halfway normal once completely healed. I can only picture a puckered, pinched seem where it once was, surrounded by stretchmarked sagging skin that will never bounce back.

Then there's the other incision that I had recently as well for the other hernia. It's 3" long. It is down in the groin thankfully. BUT right now it has caused soooo much swelling and bruising that the whole left side along my lips is purple, hard and swollen so that it sticks out/hangs down almost 1/2 farther than the other side.

Hubby keeps reassuring me that it will get better. Right now I cannot see hope for my belly button and the ugly purple surrounding my genitals is disconcerting and gross for me to see. If I had any hope of feeling even turned on, just one look at my genitals would completely turn me off. I feel undesireable, physically miserable, and to top it off I'm so emotional that a rough and tumble scene from Miss Congeniality last night had me sobbing. Don't bother asking why I was sobbing - you know I couldn't tell you.

Can you ladies help me feel better? Commiserate, encourage with stories where things DID improve, ANYTHING? Thanks in advance.

09-25-2005, 07:02 AM	#1 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I need self-image help. I've always been pretty happy with my body so long as I was healthy. But now - I'm dealing with a lot of changes. I don't hate it and I wouldn't consider plastic surgery or anything for a while at least to see what I can do with it myself. YET ... In the past year - or rather 9 months I've had 3 surgeries resulting in 5 scars. One of which you can't see because of the most recent surgery. I had two hernias repaired last week Wednesday. One was in my belly button. I considered posting a picture of it here because it's difficult to describe but I think not. The first time I saw it after I took the bandages off I had to lie down or I would have passed out and then when that feeling was gone I was crying. I know crying over a belly button may sound obsurd but I can't help it. I am EXTREMELY emotional right now (just ask hubby - I was trying not to cry in the toothpaste isle) and the sight of what used to be a belly button is terribly upsetting. the sides are drawn together so completely that the scabs have fused the skin over the original belly button. There was a cut through the middle so the sides are fused to that as well. At the top there is a good portion of skin that was stretched during pregnancy, NOT drawn together and so it's sagging in a flap of skin over the top of this whole mess. I can't believe the Dr would have done this so badly. The other scars/incisions are smooth straight lines with only small red slightly raised areas on the ones that are scars. This is so ugly and messed up. I don't see how there is anything I can do about it and I don't see how it can look even halfway normal once completely healed. I can only picture a puckered, pinched seem where it once was, surrounded by stretchmarked sagging skin that will never bounce back. Then there's the other incision that I had recently as well for the other hernia. It's 3" long. It is down in the groin thankfully. BUT right now it has caused soooo much swelling and bruising that the whole left side along my lips is purple, hard and swollen so that it sticks out/hangs down almost 1/2 farther than the other side. Hubby keeps reassuring me that it will get better. Right now I cannot see hope for my belly button and the ugly purple surrounding my genitals is disconcerting and gross for me to see. If I had any hope of feeling even turned on, just one look at my genitals would completely turn me off. I feel undesireable, physically miserable, and to top it off I'm so emotional that a rough and tumble scene from Miss Congeniality last night had me sobbing. Don't bother asking why I was sobbing - you know I couldn't tell you. Can you ladies help me feel better? Commiserate, encourage with stories where things DID improve, ANYTHING? Thanks in advance. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.