abaya

Raeanna, your post resounds on a lot of different points for me. Thank you for sharing.

I think what your advice boils down to is personal responsibility. Not feeling guilty for someone else's assumptions (unless they were truly hurt by a specific behavior of yours, which I'm not sure is what's happening with ScottKuma), and essentially forcing yourself to express love to someone, because the only other option to is harden inside and decide to stop loving them.

I think that love, even when it's forced, can actually transform both people, even when it's only initiated by one person (as you explained, Raeanna). If you feel hurt but try hard to love anyway, it changes you and makes you truly love again; if you are the one being loved, it makes you realize what you were doing wrong and why the other person felt so hurt, and motivates you to change your behavior. At least, I often feel this way with ktspktsp... it's what makes our relationship so alive. We are constantly renegotiating and changing to better love the other person.

ScottKuma, it's hard to say whether this is your case or not, since it really sounds like you've tried your damndest to be patient and she's still not able to receive your attention and love (or she's receiving it in the wrong way). Obviously you are both in pain. But since you haven't gotten to the last straw yet, I say give it another go, try to express your love to her in as many different ways as possible, be satisfied with the cuddling and let her initiate the sex. And communicate as much as possible, even if she doesn't respond. In the end, if you do get to the last resort of divorce, there is no blame on you if you communicated as earnestly and clearly as possible.

/dos centavos

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran