dman:
Thanks for replying.
I'm doing my best not to allow myself to do anything STUPID. I don't drink, I don't otherwise impair my judgement, so I should be OK. I also don't let myself get into situations where stupid things could happen. Add that to the fact that I'm an overweight 30-something computer guy...and I should be OK.
Outside of the whole current thing, our relationship has always been strong. She's always been quiet, much more so than myself. One thing that's bothering me is that she is getting MORE quiet. I think there are things right now that are affecting her deeply - this whole Evan thing was completely unexpected, and she's starting to let the stress/strain show. I'm worried that it could snowball. Yesterday I (gently) suggested that we find someone for her to talk to, and she did a very Diane-like thing....fell silent & didn't talk to me for most of the rest of the night. I'm not sure if that means she's thinking about it, or so mad at me for suggesting it that she gave me the silent treatment.
The LAST thing I want to do is to get a divorce; both from the standpoint of the fact that I love her deeply (I'm hurt/confused right now, but that doesn't change the fact that I love her), and because I would hate myself for piling the troubles on. She's got enough to cope with between Evan's care, going down to the hospital, and everything else.