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middy · 09-19-2005, 12:41 AM

I highly suggest you try moving the relationship to a physical nature and see how she reacts. I'm not suggesting you try and kiss her right away or something like that but try touching her. Touch her arm, touch the small of her back - not awkwardly but when you get a chance (like leaning into to tell her something at a party). See how see responds, if you get no reaction or even better she starts responding by touching you, make a move. That's the easiest way to tell; if you are openly touching her and she’s not reacting negatively you have a chance to progress a relationship.

I wouldn’t wait too long, you have built a good chemistry with her (from all of the conversations you have spoke of) but the longer you go without making her respect you as a male the better chance you’ll get pushed into a friendship relationship. My experience is that women who don’t see you as a sexual being will place you in their mind as a “friend”. A guy she can interact with without being afraid he’ll be trying to hit on her or make out with her, etc. Getting out of the friends zone is not impossible but it’s very hard.

BTW on her friends dropping you hints that means nothing in terms of helping you make the next step. It’s a positive sign IF you make that next step with her; but until you do it all they are doing is playing cheerleaders which will not help you at all. Forget about what they are saying and make up your own mind.

One more point on what Martian said. I think it’s important for you, former newt, to make a decision. If you feel a friendship is all you want out of dealing with her, then accept that and be done with it. Have a good time hanging out with her but don't let her monopolize your time. Go out with her but be looking around for other women to date and talk to them. She's your friend; not a girl friend. On the other hand if you want more then just to be her friend; don't settle for friendship, make a move and make it clear. Trust me it hurts a lot to be friends with a girl that you'd rather be dating, a lot.

One question, since I provided such a long answer, for the women who I know will be posting later. If a guy who you consider a friend made a pass at you or approached you in a way that made it clear he was looking to be more then friends with you; would you instantly dump a friendship with him because of that? Would you forgive him or try and clear up the situation to remain his friend? (Sorry for thread jacking in advance)

09-19-2005, 12:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
middy Upright	I highly suggest you try moving the relationship to a physical nature and see how she reacts. I'm not suggesting you try and kiss her right away or something like that but try touching her. Touch her arm, touch the small of her back - not awkwardly but when you get a chance (like leaning into to tell her something at a party). See how see responds, if you get no reaction or even better she starts responding by touching you, make a move. That's the easiest way to tell; if you are openly touching her and she’s not reacting negatively you have a chance to progress a relationship. I wouldn’t wait too long, you have built a good chemistry with her (from all of the conversations you have spoke of) but the longer you go without making her respect you as a male the better chance you’ll get pushed into a friendship relationship. My experience is that women who don’t see you as a sexual being will place you in their mind as a “friend”. A guy she can interact with without being afraid he’ll be trying to hit on her or make out with her, etc. Getting out of the friends zone is not impossible but it’s very hard. BTW on her friends dropping you hints that means nothing in terms of helping you make the next step. It’s a positive sign IF you make that next step with her; but until you do it all they are doing is playing cheerleaders which will not help you at all. Forget about what they are saying and make up your own mind. One more point on what Martian said. I think it’s important for you, former newt, to make a decision. If you feel a friendship is all you want out of dealing with her, then accept that and be done with it. Have a good time hanging out with her but don't let her monopolize your time. Go out with her but be looking around for other women to date and talk to them. She's your friend; not a girl friend. On the other hand if you want more then just to be her friend; don't settle for friendship, make a move and make it clear. Trust me it hurts a lot to be friends with a girl that you'd rather be dating, a lot. One question, since I provided such a long answer, for the women who I know will be posting later. If a guy who you consider a friend made a pass at you or approached you in a way that made it clear he was looking to be more then friends with you; would you instantly dump a friendship with him because of that? Would you forgive him or try and clear up the situation to remain his friend? (Sorry for thread jacking in advance)