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Originally Posted by maleficent
Has she talked to her own doctor about how she's feeling? Post partum depression is not all that rare anymore, and it's not swept under the rug anymore, it's nothing for her to be ashamed of. Throw into that a child that has some medical problems, which she might very well be blaming herself for... (because of her, her child is not perfect, and she also can't be a complete wife to you - it's gotta be messing with her head.)
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No, she hasn't talked with her doctor. I suggested that when she's gone for OB/GYN follow-ups...she counters with, "that's not their specialty." She's right, but they certainly can refer her to the right person.
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Originally Posted by maleficent
I'm glad that you say you love her... going outside your marriage for intimacy is only going to further complicate the situation, which i think you know.
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Of course I do...which is why it scares me so damned much. It's something I never thought I would even CONSIDER...and I'm not even at that point yet, but even the proximity to considering it scares me.
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Originally Posted by maleficent
I honestly think you both need some couples counseling... a neutral third party to be able to help get to the bottom of the problem.
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Agreed, and expected. How to suggest this?
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Originally Posted by maleficent
when she comes up of it again, she might end up pregnant again, and she's probably afraid of having another child that's not 100 percent healthy.
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I'm not even talking SEX, necessarily. Hell, just being touched by her would be nice. What I was offering last night was my making HER feel good - some worship of her body...and then see where it goes from there.
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Originally Posted by maleficent
Have you tried just getting a sitter, and going on a date with her... just spend some time alone with her, dont talk about babies, just focus on the two of you. the end of hte ngith doesn't have to lead to anything (patience on your part is going to be required) and not having pressure might make her more amenable to it...
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We've had occasion to do this a few times lately. Last night was one of those nights, and it was very very nice. But then things (obviously) went downhill.
Thanks for the advice, by the way!