maleficent

Has she talked to her own doctor about how she's feeling? Post partum depression is not all that rare anymore, and it's not swept under the rug anymore, it's nothing for her to be ashamed of. Throw into that a child that has some medical problems, which she might very well be blaming herself for... (because of her, her child is not perfect, and she also can't be a complete wife to you - it's gotta be messing with her head.)

I'm glad that you say you love her... going outside your marriage for intimacy is only going to further complicate the situation, which i think you know.

I honestly think you both need some couples counseling... a neutral third party to be able to help get to the bottom of the problem.

i'm just playing armchair shrink here.. but she had post partum depression after the first child - when she recovered from that - it seems she got pregnant again... now she's back in the same boat she was in before... I'm sure she doesn't l ike feeling this way... but based on past experience, when she comes up of it again, she might end up pregnant again, and she's probably afraid of having another child that's not 100 percent healthy.

Why should you apologize? You shouldn't. Going to her and telling her you love her is one thing, you dont have to apologize for anything, but reassuring her that you love her is always good. (And i don't think it's rewarding 'bad' behavior)

Have you tried just getting a sitter, and going on a date with her... just spend some time alone with her, dont talk about babies, just focus on the two of you. the end of hte ngith doesn't have to lead to anything (patience on your part is going to be required) and not having pressure might make her more amenable to it...

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