texxasco

Cutting ties is a little premature IMO, and it's also a little presumptuous to judge these guys too harshly. After all, we've only heard one side of the story...and there is always two sides, or more. These guys might just be ok stand up guys who were just fooling around. I wouldn't be so quick to judge unless I knew them personally. From what soma has posted on this topic, it sounds more to me like he's got a little confidence problem that's all. I wouldn't be so quick to alienate everybody. My best friend from back in 10th grade (around 25 years now) used to give me shit all the time. Sure I got mad at him, but I also got over it, and then gave him the same shit back. Since those days we've been each other's best man (repeatedly unfortunately), been there for each other through plenty of bad times, and I am godfather to his twin girls. When I first met him, and for quite awhile I thought he was a real asshole, and full of himself. In fact, the first time we met we almost got in a fight (he was the aggressor back then) over something stupid...(details in a future thread). But I got to know him well (over time), and my opinion changed. Now, if it came to it I would take a bullet for him (and the feeling is mutual)... that's how close we are.

I am not saying that soma has this same kind of relationship with this guy, or any of the others... but if he cuts them all off, and alienates himself, he might be getting rid of his next best friend, and lifelong buddy...and opening a whole new can of worms. This whole thing is over a girl he hardly knows. Not to offend any women, but I haven't met one worth fighting over yet. Now, a girlfriend or wife, someone that he has invested some time and effort in... then it would be different story. There are too many women out there for him to get bent out of shape over this one. By soma's own admission he didn't and doesn't know her very well. Is he more mad at his friend for getting the girl, or himself for not getting her first?



This little problem is hitting pretty close to home. This is his circle of friends. They hang out in the same dorm, go the same places, etc. The original problem needs to be dealt with before he creates more. Unless they have been lifelong friends of his, he can't hold them to such a high standard... they're all young and getting to know one another. Expect people to screw up occasionally...people do that. Unless you posted it and I missed it, as of your last post you hadn't even spoken to the guy about it. You haven't shown where there was any malicious intent. Give the guy, and yourself a break.


That is what guys do. Goof on each other, have fun, and chase girls. How do we know that they aren't just giving him some friendly ribbing? Even if they do go a little far with it, telling them to fuck off would just show them he can't take a joke, add more fuel to the fire, and still leave the original problem unsolved. What's he supposed to do, just cut himself off from everyone he knows and go live in a box? No... he needs to deal with this situation, and the best way to do that is go find him another girl. Those other guys are just being guys, and ribbing him harmlessly. IMO the only reason he's reacting so strongly to a little ribbing is because he hasn't gotten over the fact that a friend of his got to a girl before he did. So what. It happens... and when it does, the right thing to do is get over it and move on. You win some you lose some. Life goes on. If he handles this right, some of these guys could end up being lifelong friends of his. Just because they give him shit doesn't mean they're all bad.

Soma, you need to take whatever little ribbing you get, don't be so thin skinned, and give it back to them. Have a sense of humor too.. Haven't you ever ribbed someone? Don't get mad every time someone gives you a little shit. You wanna get them off your back? Take their shit with a smile, show them you can take a joke, and then get even.

Try this - First off, forget that girl. Once you have done that, or at the same time, go out and find yourself a another one. Every time they see you with your new girl, they will get the point, and you can grin until your face hurts... What are they gonna say then? Not a damn thing. The message you'll be sending them is:

1) You aren't a woos
2) You aren't a sore loser
3) You can get your own women
4) You can take a joke
5) You are spending time with a hot chick, and they're laying around making stupid jokes. Who's laughing at who now?

If they still make stupid little jokes aimed at you, just shrug it off, because then, as Poppinjay said "They sound like chronic masturbators who break out in a sweat if a girl says boo." Getting mad at guys who are making fun of you almost NEVER solves the problem... it just makes it more fun for them to get under your skin.

I bet they'll quieten down though.

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