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Originally Posted by maleficent
Interesting questions:
1. It's much harder to get serious because of the lack of facial expression and eye contact... talk is pretty cheap -- people can say anything when they are behind a computer screen -- but when you are face to face - it's more real.
2. Flirtation in real life or on line is really nothing more than ego stroking.
3. Flirtation like that annoys me - it irks me when I do it -it's more annoying when other people do it because it's hiding the real person - -I'd much rather have a real conversation with someone - even if it erupts into an argument than to play a game.
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Oh baby, you done gone broke my heart
heh
I am learning a lot here in TFP - I was in a family/home/work routine for many years and TFP has been a wonderful way to hear many different voices from many different places that just didn't exist in my circumscribed life. The questions, the input, the minds and the spirits that I have listened to, responded to, and created my own sense of, are so expanding I really have no way to express the vitality they have added to a stagnant and reclusive condition.
That said, when I have the opportunity I always enjoy a good flirt. Same as a good dancer, a good flirt is a pleasant buzz which when you walk away you may be smiling, but you will not be obsessing.
Is it easier to get serious due to the lack of expression? I find the lack of eye contact and little visual cues a block. Add to that my tendency to dismiss any possible interest a member of the opposite sex actually expresses as just another instance of flirtation. I really don't see myself getting overly caught up in online flirtation. On the other hand, an extended interchange involving a combination of flirtation and genuine conversation is a slippery slope. That is when the cold fact that internet life is a new way of interaction needs to be held in the forefront of the mind. Because without the interpersonal cues that indicate where the boundaries are, a beautiful story can be created that is just that - a story. This too is part of the learning experience of TFP, and is invaluable for this fellow who is venturing beyond a relationship that was set back in highschool, 30 plus years ago. I enjoy the package interaction immensely. I am also aware that any cost to myself if things go sour will be magnified 10-fold in the real world if dialogue is not kept open.
Is flirtation an easy ego boost? Hell yah. Spun candy and lots of cake are fun too, but don't think you will get anything beyond a spotty complexion and a sick feeling in your gut if you try to sustain yourself on it
What does flirtation do for me? I love women. I enjoy interacting with them in many ways. And flirtation is a bit like holding a happy cat - making it purr makes me feel good, and I am good at making cats purr. Now, being allergic to cats means I am aware that any more contact than that would make my eyes leak and my nose all snuffly. So I keep in mind that flirtation will be part of whatever SO relationship I eventually will find myself in, and in that case the allergy pills will be coming out while I develop my immune system. The pussy will then get the whole 9 yards. Or whatever unit of measure I deem more applicable.