Here's another crazy one
In the early days before history, the world was full of Republicans. They roamed the land looking for things to prove they were stronger than because they felt weak. So they clubbed animals with their clubs and when they'd finished clubbing beasts, they'd club one another because they felt insecure about having not quite clubbed enough beasts. Before long, all the Republicans had taken so many blows to the head that they lost all their (albeit previously tiny) ability to think. And this is why all republicans are so stupid today.
From far away, a tribe of people called the Liberals who didn't feel quite so unsure of their own masculinity arrived on the Republican shores, and enslaved the foolish Republicans by waving bits of shiny metal in front of their eyes, and bandaging their heads when they ran into things or otherwise managed to injure themselves. The Liberals made the Republicans toil in the fields, fight their wars and do all the hard manual labour, while they cared for them and discovered how to make wine, and technology and other fine things. It was a wonderful situation, the Republicans were happy because they were out working in the fields, being looked after and doing what they were told by the much wiser Liberals, and the Liberals were happy because they had found an inexhaustible supply of manual labour. Plus some of the Republicans were quite sweet sometimes.
One day, one of the Liberals invented gunpowder. A Republican had fallen outside the door of his hut, and being too stupid to stand up by himself, lay drooling with his face in the dirt watching as the Democrat pointed a long stick at a target until it went bang and the target fell off the wall. The Republican liked the loud noise and his eyes lit up in delight. He tried to ask the Democrat what manner of wonderful invention he had created, but his mouth filled up with dirt, which started to make him choke and splutter.
While the Liberals looked down on the Republicans for all the obvious reasons, they still cared for them - and so the Democrat leapt up and helped the poor stupid Republican to his feet, slapping him on the back to help him cough up all the dirt, and mud he'd ingested. Taking him into his hut, the Democrat sat him down and went off to find something to drink.
The Republican looked shiftily around to see that noone was looking, and stole the gun and some ammunition and ran off into the woods with them, gibbering to himself with excitement.
In the years to follow, he learnt how to shoot, how to make more guns and how to make more ammunition. Before long he had a stockpile. He started to recruit more Republicans and before long, had a whole Republican army ready to march on the Liberals and take power.
Unfortunately, because the army was all full of Republicans, and had a Republican General, they all ended up massacring themselves, because they were much too stupid.
Eventually the Republicans did manage to raise an army that didn't end up turning on itself, (it took about 8 or 9 goes) but by that time the Liberals had invented TV, so it never amounted to much anyway...