Well, here's my thoughts, and I'll try to be brief.
I can empathize, although not quite as dramatically. My HS GF and I dated for over 19 months, broke up, I thought we loved each other and had a chance to get back together. We'd talk, say I love you, etc...then 5 months later, she tells me she cheated. I loved her; I wanted to live my life with her, so I forgave her, I wanted her back, she led me on (twice) before I was like: ok, that's enough. She's not a bad person -- in fact, she's a very good person that made mistakes, I think, but I shouldn't have let myself consider us getting back together at the time.
Your case is somewhat similar. Look what happened in high school; look at what this girl, M, has done. A violation of trust is a painful and terrible thing; it takes a long time to heal if, in fact, it ever does. It happens, and while it's conceivable that she does want to spend the rest of her life with you, I don't think you should put any stock whatsoever in it right now. I regret talking with my ex (who cheated on me) for so long after we broke up and after she finally told me; while we're still good friends, it would have been better and healthier for me to stop contact for a while until I (not her) got over it.
That's my recommendation to you. Tell this girl No. Tell her she has disappointed you and violated your trust. Tell her that if anything happens between the two of you, it will have to be far down the road, after she can prove -- at least to herself -- that she is mature enough to handle an honest and trustworthy relationship. Until then, however, I would say stop or reduce contact with her. It doesn't help you get over things that well usually, it reminds you of her and also all the pain, and it prevents you from moving on with your life and meeting other girls. Don't let her have control over you, your emotions, or your decisions. I did, and regret it.
My 2 cents. While your rules are not absolutes, they certainly hold true in most cases, I think. I'd say heed them. I feel for you, bud.
Sim
|