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Old 09-04-2005, 10:29 AM   #22 (permalink)
mrklixx
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A friend of mine posted this brilliant piece at another forum about this subject, so I thought I would share.

Quote:
Class, I would like to introduce today's speaker who will explain the school district's new freedom of fucking speech policy. Dr. P. Hucker, would you please come up and address this fucking issue?

Thank you, Headmaster Large. Hello students. From here on out, I'm your fucking ombudsmen for your freedom of fucking speech rights.

The first thing you must remember is that there will be only five fucks allowed in a classroom at one time. If there are more than 5 fucks , they will have to wait until the next class. If 6 fucks emerge in one class, the teacher is entitled to send the last fuck to my fucking office. There will be fucking penalties, fucking detention and maybe even fucking expulsion for repeat fucking offenders. Don't let me catch you abusing your fucking freedom of speech.

The next thing you 'fuckers' should remember is to keep your fucking expressions friendly. Nothing is worse than hearing a bunch of angry fucks when you are trying to study American history. You might as well go home and watch Fox News instead of going to school So be considerate of your fellow fuckers and keep it light.

In fairness to your teacher and the mother who is the teacher's aide, try to address your fucking utterances primarily to your fellow students. We could lose our mother volunteers unless they are mother fuckers themselves. If so, it is still undecided if a mother is an acceptable exceeding of the five fucks allowed. We will have to see how many mother fuckers participate.

We are planning to send a few 'praise postcards' to the fucking abstainers. We are planning on having a fucking contest for the fucking graphic design. Headmaster Large has proposed the simple block letters, NO FUCKING WAY, but we members of the fucking task force think we can do better.

Lastly, appreciate this fucking time in your education. All too soon, you will be out in the fucking world where you will encounter an infinite number of fucks everywhere you go. And you will know that your board of fucking education gave you your fucking start in this world.

If I can be of any fucking assistance to any of you, please contact me, Dr. V. Bee and I will give you as much fucking advice as I can. Okay, I have clearly exceeded today's limit, so get the "fuck" out of here!


Also I think I came up with an example of one of the "praise postcards":

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Last edited by maleficent; 09-04-2005 at 11:02 AM.. Reason: Color changes
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